But, as restrictions lift, we can begin to gather safely. And, many of us relish the opportunity to get together with extended families! How can you make your gathering memorable and fun?

First, recognize that we’re all evolving

As vaccination levels rise and Covid cases decline, we’re beginning to go mask-free and expand circles of contact. But it could take time for us to slip back into pre-pandemic patterns.

We’re all processing the re-entry in our own ways.

Some have grown accustomed to a slower pace

Several people have told me they’re happy with less cluttered schedules. They appreciate time to relax and unwind. And they’re enjoying quality time with a smaller group of people.

Those who’ve been most isolated may experience difficulties transitioning back into social situations. After all, they’ve grown accustomed to having conversations with just a few household or family members.

Others have pent-up socializing to do

Others want to rush forward into all of the socializing opportunities to make up for lost time! I can hear the pent-up energy in their voices — and they’re quick to pull out calendars to schedule social gatherings.

And of course, people fall all across the spectrum when it comes to how they want to move forward with socializing.

Tips for managing family gatherings post-pandemic

Plan now for your “re-entry events” to make them less stressful for all involved. Remember to be patient with this transition! People process information and risk differently.

1. Know your family. First, list your family members and their comfort levels, considering vaccination levels, need for masks, and any special needs.
2. Poll family members about their comfort levels or special needs. Better to ask than assume, particularly if you’re not certain how they’ll react to situations.
3. Accept and accommodate differences. Acknowledge that family members will differ on amount of time together, masks, vaccinations, social distancing, etc. If Aunt Martha wants or needs to wear a mask, that’s her choice. Or, if cousin Billy is adamantly opposed to vaccinations — again, personal choice! Encourage people to participate as they are comfortable and provide options for gathering or spending time alone or in smaller groups.
4. If you’re the organizer or host, set the rules. Set clear expectations up front and clearly communicate them to minimize disagreements.
5. Plan memorable activities that enable family members to participate comfortably. Plan for a few easy activities that suit your crowd and location — such as boating or pool activities, yard games, board/card games, etc. Even meal prep can be a great time for conversation among those helping out!
6. Minimize stress for all involved. Keep it simple! Don’t over-schedule or over-plan, allowing plenty of time and space for easy visits and spontaneous activities.
7. And, remember to take and share photos! With cell phones in most hands, it’s easier than ever to catch candid shots of family members enjoying themselves. We love to share pictures and create memory videos after major events.

Navigating long distance family visits

If you’re planning your event long-distance, or other family members are traveling, check out Navigating long distance family visits for more ideas!

The post Making family gatherings special post-pandemic appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Over nearly four decades of long-distance family relationships, I’ve learned to approach family visits with a lot of grace. Recognizing I’m part of an imperfect family helps me sow seeds of love, rather than getting caught up in what could easily become family drama.

Here are five tips to help you navigate family relationships near and far! You may find them especially useful for long-distance family visits, particularly if you haven’t had the opportunity to visit for a while.

1. Plan activities & go with the flow

Having a few activities planned gives you something to look forward to and helps you relax. I typically plan a few meals out with various family members, knowing this will give us time to visit over good food. I also try not to schedule too tightly, leaving room for impromptu activities.

On my latest trip, my aunt and I spent a day photographing wildflowers and wildlife on a nearby prairie. And, I spent another day driving through the woods with my brother and sister-in-law. We located a remote spot on the river that my dad particularly loved and fulfilled his wish by spreading some of his ashes there. Now that we’ve found it, we’ll return with other family members to enjoy this space.

2. Communicate in advance

If you’re the one traveling, be sure to communicate when you’ll arrive and leave, and what time you have available. Be prepared with a list of things you’d like to do and ask them for suggestions as well.

Getting details confirmed well in advance helps you and other family members work through any differences of opinion. Plus, you’ll avoid unnecessary arguments if everyone knows that you’ll be with mom on Tuesday and sister Susie on Wednesday!

3. Consider personalities and time constraints

Knowing the family personalities helps you schedule activities and timing. While it may be more convenient to schedule one big outing, I’ve learned that this overwhelms many individuals — and can be taxing to coordinate.

Plus, some family members prefer 1:1 time while others love to interact in larger groups. If you have the time and resources, arrange to visit with individuals, couples or smaller family groups separately. And, be sure to check with individual family members on their work schedules and/or available time.

4. Allow for down time during your visit

Everyone needs some down time, but introverts especially need to replenish their energy. If you’re an extrovert, take note of the introverts in the family and give them space. You’ll find the quality of your interactions much better when more introverted family members get their down time.

If you’re an introvert, remember to take care of yourself. Schedule in time to go for a walk, read a book, or whatever feeds your soul. Consider where you’re staying also — you may find that staying at a hotel or quieter family member’s place allows you to interact more gracefully!

5. Accept family members in their imperfection

We’re all imperfect and as much as we’d like to tell other family members where they’re going wrong or could do better, this rarely works. You might not have handled a situation in the same way, spent money the way they did, or treated another family member “like that” — but sharing your opinion usually only fans the flames.

If you feel you need to speak truth into someone else’s life, it’s often helpful to ask them questions, such as “have you thought about …?” And certainly, if asked for your thoughts, share your experiences and perspectives! Allowing family members the space to make their own mistakes without a great deal of judgement is a fine art and one of the most difficult things to do with imperfect families.

Have fun navigating your long-distance family visits!

If nothing else, this pandemic has taught us to appreciate time together with loved ones. But families can also be tricky — and the dynamics may require you to be patient. Just remember, you’re not the only one with a family that’s a bit weird, and quirky, and maybe even frustrating at times.

But, if you can accept the imperfection — see past it, or through it, you’ll often find that your imperfect family knows you and loves you the best they can. And if you’re lucky, that’s just good enough!

If you’re also caring for aging parents …

Here are a few links you may find helpful:

• Resources | Caring for parents
• Tips for visiting assisted living facilities

The post Navigating long-distance family visits appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.