It’s counter-intuitive, but when you’re overwhelmed, living lighter not trying harder makes a lot of sense. Sometimes what we need most is to step away from the fray, not run toward it!

But so often, we choose to stay in the fight even when we are exhausted from it.

Our society values hard work

The Oxford Dictionary defines a work ethic as ” the principle that hard work is intrinsically virtuous or worthy of reward.” And, many of us were taught to work hard from a young age — by our parents, our culture, our communities.

A solid work ethic is built into our basic DNA with sayings such as “When the going gets tough, the tough get going” and “opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize them.”

But trying harder can be a vicious cycle

It’s not that hard work is intrinsically bad; it’s noble and important. Our country and our communities are built on hard work!

But when it becomes a way of life or a means of avoiding deeper issues, this “try harder” approach can make us more frustrated, not less. The more we try, the more tired we become.

And if we keep forcing ourselves to do more, be more, try more — we risk the syndrome internationally recognized as burnout.

We become overwhelmed and exhausted

Widely recognized to be a result of overwork, burnout has been recognized as a syndrome by many medical professionals. In 2016, it was added to the World Health Organization’s International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD).

Burnout is a state of physical and emotional exhaustion, characterized by an inability to relax. Burnout is essentially our reaction to an extended period of stress that exceeds our ability to cope with it effectively.

What causes burnout?

Authors Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski Peterson, DMA examined this syndrome extensively in their book Burnout. After extensive research, they concluded that three main factors influence the burnout condition:

• Emotional exhaustion – fatigue that comes from caring too much, for too long;
• Depersonalization – the depletion of empathy, caring, and compassion; and
• Decreased sense of accomplishment – an unconquerable sense of futility: feeling that nothing you do makes any difference.

We’re trying harder, but it feels futile

Essentially, if we’ve set unrealistic expectations of what we can or should accomplish in a day, we never feel as though we’re done. If we believe that we can have it all, we misinterpret this to mean that we must do it all.

So, we set high expectations for ourselves, strive and push in a million different directions. And all too often, we ignore emotions and neglect ourselves in the process.

We ignore the signals

We’re exhausted because we’re stuck in the emotions we aren’t processing. But we ignore the signals because we’ve been conditioned to simply work harder, try something different.

Your body knows you need to take care of yourself, “but that instinct for self-preservation is battling a syndrome that insists that self-preservation is selfish, so your efforts to care for yourself might actually make things worse, activating even more punishment from the world or from yourself, because how dare you?” (Nagoski and Peterson, Burnout).

It’s a vicious cycle because we’re burnt out. And, when we’re burnt out, research shows that our brains and our bodies don’t work as well.

Turns out, we need to live lighter

A lighter approach IS the antidote to overworking. We just have to convince ourselves that it’s okay to stop striving and trying so hard.

Nagoski and Peterson prescribe three essential burnout antidotes:

1. Connection – creating bubbles of love and support,
2. Rest — slowing our pace and giving our bodies and minds a break, and
3. Growing mighty by practicing self compassion to “the difficult, fragile part of yourself that tries to bridge the unbridgeable chasm between you and expected-you.”

Trust me, the world won’t fall apart

Will the world fall apart if we stop overworking ourselves? Most of us are too afraid to find out.

We’ve grown used to picking up the slack so we fear everything will fall apart if we stop doing what we do. But, surprisingly, when we slow down, the world keeps on spinning.

Sometimes our lighter approach and slower pace inconveniences someone and we hear about it. And not everything will be done perfectly, but if you focus on doing the right things, the rest will take care of itself.

Hi, my name is Elaine

And I’m a chronic over-worker, try harder kind of gal. But I’m learning to live differently. I’m learning to live lighter, to give myself and others grace. And, I’m learning to connect, rest, and grow mighty when “Expected Me” tries to push me around.

Will you join me?

Inspiration and resources

If you’re tired of trying harder and want to live lighter, check out these articles:

• Building margins into your life
• Lighten up 2021
• A midlife manifesto

The post Try harder or live lighter? appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

With a goal of lightening up in 2020 — and now that my husband and I are officially living in an “empty nest,” I have been decluttering yet again. It’s been a good opportunity to take a look at our home with fresh eyes, to see what we really want and need for how we live now.

Though the girls took a lot with them, I am discovering many items that we no longer need, need less of than we did in the past, or need to pass on to our daughters. As I go through cupboards and closets, I thought you might find it useful for me to share what I’m learning.

Here are two lists to consider: 1) Items you no longer need (or need less of than you did previously) and 2) Items to pass on to your young adults for their homes.

1) Examples of items you may no longer need:

• Food or pantry items that were only or mostly for the kids (I’m buying less processed and packaged food, less bulk items, and less sweets, for instance)
• Calculators of all sizes and types
• Extensive art supplies (colored paper, coloring pencils, canvases, paints, jewelry making kits)
• Class supplies (index cards, binders, lined paper)
• Games and puzzles we’ve outgrown
• Old computers and cords
• Extra electrical cords

2) Examples of items to pass on to young adults:

• Excess furniture or pieces better suited to them
• Kitchen dishes, utensils or gadgets you’re no longer using
• Extra bedding and linens
• Games and puzzles they will use
• Their keepsakes and mementos (other than those gifted to you or that you treasure)

Decluttering your empty nest has benefits

When we declutter, we can walk through the process of transitioning through change, a process that transforms us into a new phase of living without our children in our home. By letting go, muddling through and moving forward, we process this major life change in a positive manner.

Joshua Becker, author and minimalism expert, says that this process moves us forward.

“Today is the day you rid yourself of anything that distracts from your best life.”

Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home

Don’t we all want to live our best life? I truly believe that decluttering our empty nest is helping me lean into living lightly and simply. And we’re so enjoying sharing time with our girls and their guys in our home and theirs!

The post Decluttering your empty nest appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Like many, I found resolutions quickly faded in the reality of a new year. So for a while, I just stopped making them.

And then, about five years ago I began the practice of having a word, or words, for my year or a season.

Words help me listen for small beginnings

These intentional words help me set an intention for the year, rather than hard and fast goals. What I love most about the one word practice is how God speaks into my heart in unexpected ways. In 2020 for instance, my word was WARRIOR. I kept saying, really, God?! but the word served me well as I learned to guard my heart and look to God’s directions for battles to face in my life.

Prior to that, God has reminded me to BE STILL, slow down and listen for his voice. And in a season of much change, I heard LET IT GO.

For 2021, my word is LIGHT. I hear God’s heart reminding me to step lightly into what the year holds for me. I’m challenged to take steady steps forward, to keep making steady progress while trusting he’ll brighten my path as I go.

With this in mind, I wrote Lighten up 2021, about going easy on ourselves and lightening the pressure of the expectations for a new year.

And now, below, I share why I’m excited about celebrating small beginnings!

1. Small beginnings don’t require a set plan

I’m not saying that we mindlessly meander into the year without a destination, but perhaps we don’t have to be so strict about defining our success. Instead what happens if we give ourselves a little grace to define our progress as we go?

Here’s the difference. If my goal (aka destination) is to be healthier, I might resolve to exercise 5 days a week for 30 minutes. If I define success by the number of times I meet my goal, it’s a slippery slope and I can become discouraged. By contrast, if I’m “light-stepping” into a healthier me, I celebrate if I squeeze in a 30 minute walk — and I celebrate if I make it only 10 minutes. I choose daily to make progress, no matter how small.

Small beginnings allow us freedom to enjoy the journey rather than only striving to reach a destination. Without the pressure of a concrete plan, we can’t fail to meet it.

This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t have goals. But most of us have such weighty expectations that we walk around feeling like we’ve failed yet again. And this feeling, if we’re not careful, pushes us into a downward spiral of emotional baggage. We wind up overwhelmed, immersed in negative self-talk, and often engaged in self-destructive behaviors to simply feel better.

If we have a small beginnings mentality, we hold our plans lightly and celebrate progress. Whew, pressure’s off.

2. Small beginnings require only little steps

Little steps aren’t as daunting and scary as big ones. So we tend to take more of them, without hesitation. We don’t procrastinate. We move forward a little bit at a time.

By treasuring small beginnings, we allow the new year to gently unfold rather than creating unrealistic expectations for ourselves or others. And, we create the seed of a positive habit that can grow stronger.

3. Big things come from small beginnings

Every bit of self improvement, every project, every creation — begins with a first step, a thought, an idea. Everything needs a foundation. Ancient civilizations built the pyramids and the Great Wall a stone at a time.

And positive habits begin with the intention to accept change, to think differently, to start something.

“All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision.“

James Clear, Atomic Habits

Sometimes the best things, which seem to be unexpected, actually are the result of a small beginning. And as you took many small steps, the big thing came together.

Sometimes we need to look backwards

It’s much easier to celebrate our small beginnings when we look backwards to see how they’ve grown. Here are a few growing habits that I’m celebrating from the past year or two:

• Taking my vitamins. This was such a hard one for me! I know, many people do this regularly, without a problem. Just do it, right? To be fair, they can make me nauseous and so I just avoided it. My small beginning was to invest in good quality vitamins, put them in a weekly “medi-minder,” and put it in the drawer with my hair dryer. Now, every day when I take out my hair brushes and the dryer, I also pull out my vitamins and take them. Small beginning, daily practice, now a habit.
• Exercising. For years, I set lofty exercise goals, started off strong, and ended up letting exercise slide to nearly last on my list (even my favorite pilates). About two years ago, my husband and I decided to prioritize our daily walks. We set a consistent 6am start time, increased the length of the walk to about two miles, and dedicated the time. This year, in addition to walking, we’re both focused on our own small beginnings to add in cardio or core strength. And, I’m getting back to my pilates even if I have to do it online! Small beginning, supportive partner, increased steps every day.
• Relaxing. Sounds strange, but relaxing doesn’t come naturally to me. Perhaps this is why when I first started selecting words, my words were BE STILL. In 2020, I realized one of the battles I needed to face was finding a healthier way to relax and de-stress than sitting down with a glass or two of wine every night. And so on May 1, I began with a 21 Day Reset. That small beginning led me to a wonderful group of women that are becoming life-long friends. And I’ve learned so much about relaxing into the person I’m meant to be rather than someone relying on an unhealthy and potentially addictive habit. Small beginning, healthy connections, learning to relax naturally.

What would you like to start?

If you have a big dream in your heart, I encourage you to give it a small beginning. Consider letting go of the pressure you put on yourself or allow others to put on you. Instead, just focus on a small step you can take in this moment, today. Remember, you’re enjoying the journey at your pace.

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…”

Zechariah 4:10

So, go start something! Take a small intentional step in a direction you think you’d like to go. And then tomorrow, take another. I think you’ll be surprised to see how far you go.

The post Small beginnings appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

It sounds strange to talk about decluttering your relationships but this is an area where many of us would like to gain control. We need positive, affirming relationships in order to navigate life well. And often, our relationships can be the trickiest area of our lives to declutter.

Dictionary.com defines the verb declutter as “to simplify or get rid of mess, disorder, complications, etc.” Does this sound like it could apply to relationships in your life?

Relationships can be messy and complicated

It’s often said that imperfect human beings create imperfect relationships. Frequently, we want to blame others for the messiness of the relationships in our lives.

Even our closest relationships can be tricky. Years ago, my husband and I went through a bit of a rocky time in our marriage. One of the biggest lessons we learned during that time was that we each needed to work on our own hearts — and stop trying to “fix” or control the other person.

Truthfully, we can only control our own role in our relationships.

When we declutter our relationships, we look carefully at our own hearts. We step back to gain perspective. And we address any relationship problems, remove non-positive or toxic relationships, and do our part to maintain healthy relationships.

5 easy steps to declutter your relationships

Here are five ways you can simplify your relationships — and minimize the clutter or disorder that can sometimes drag you down.

1. Focus on positivity

Seek out positive relationships and pay attention to which of your relationships “fill your bucket” versus emptying your emotional tank. Tom Rath and Donald Clifton wrote, “How Full Is Your Bucket?” in 2004. The concept is that positive and authentic interactions increase well-being, while negative interactions detract from it. “The magic ratio: 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction.” Pay particular attention to your own interactions — are you meeting this magic ratio in the comments you share with those you love?

2. Limit (or eliminate) negative relationships

Intuitively we know that we should avoid people and interactions that drain us. Yet, often, we feel stuck in relationships that are emotionally toxic for us. We can’t always avoid negativity entirely, but we can certainly limit our interactions with negative people. And when we can’t limit it, perhaps we can adjust our own attitude by reducing the importance of comments from negative poeple.

3. Address or let go of old hurts

Sometimes we hold onto old hurts far too long. At some point, we realize that holding on is no longer serving us well. At that point, we can choose to either address the hurt directly with the person — or decide it’s time to let it go anyway.

4. Clarify your expectations

The older I get, the more I realize that people are not mind readers. And the clearer I am, the easier it is for me to have more positive relationships. Similarly, it’s not fair for me to assume what others are expecting in a relationship. Positive relationships require clear communication — we all need to be seen and heard.

5. Set clear boundaries

Boundaries go hand in hand with expectations. We each have personal boundaries and the clearer we can be about them, the simpler our relationships will be as well. Sometimes we don’t realize we’re not being clear — or worse yet, we think we are when we are not. If you find yourself constantly frustrated with a particular relationship, checking your boundaries may be an important step in resolving issues.

Qualities of healthy relationships

Healthy relationships begin with respect and trust — and require good communication, clear boundaries, and honesty. We can all benefit from stepping back now and then to assess the health of our relationships and looking for ways to clear out any clutter!

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Whether your work space is at home or in an office building, when you declutter your office work space and set up strong routines you clear mental space! For many of us, work has changed dramatically in the past few months.

Not only are more of us working from home, but our homes have become the center of so much more. And our spaces often aren’t the best equipped for our new realities.

Here are a few ways to declutter your office or work space and create positive routines to boost your productivity. With a decluttered work life, you’ll have more time to focus on all the other priorities in your life!

Conventional organizing wisdom

There are plenty of organizational gurus that will tell you simple tips for organizing your space. These lists often start with purging your office of unnecessary supplies, setting up a good organizational system, and ensuring everything has a place.

All of these are great tips — and I encourage you to think about what works for you in these ways.

But here’s what I’m finding is most important

In these days of changing routines, more time at home, and increasing uncertainty over the shape of our lives for who knows how long, it’s important to have a space that you LOVE. For me, this means a space that is cozy, simple, well-organized and happy.

I want to enjoy my work. And what helps me do that are a few simple things that I view as MOST important.

Make your office space and routines work for you

1. Find a space in your home that suits your work — make sure it has good lighting, and room for you to have what you need readily at hand. If space is tight, look for ways to make your home office portable so that you can easily set up and take down your work area.
2. Remove any unnecessary objects that distract you from your work. Myquilyn Smith calls this process “quieting” the room.
3. Have a definitive routine to start and end your day. Our hearts and minds love a good routine and creating a rhythm to begin and finish your day brings calmness.
4. Streamline and “batch process” routine tasks. Several organizational experts recommend setting timers for certain tasks, such as posting to social media or reviewing emails. This increases productivity and helps us focus!
5. Declutter your digital work space. Many of the tips included in the Declutter your digital footprint post also apply to your work life. Unsubscribe from unnecessary emails and ensure you have the applications and software to effectively do your work.
6. Set clear boundaries. When you’re working from home, it’s easy to be distracted by — well, everything! Our people seem louder than usual, household chores beckon, and maybe just a little snack would be good. Use a “do not disturb” sign and hold yourself accountable for your work time.

Declutter your office work space and gain control

We have so much going on in this middle adulthood period of life — and gaining control of each portion brings calmness, perspective, and a better sense of priority. Next week, we’ll cover another important aspect of our lives: relationships.

The post Declutter your office / work space appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Declutter your digital footprint and bring added calm to your life! Computers, tablets and phones bring the world to our fingertips — in both positive and challenging ways.

When we think about what we can truly control in our lives, smart digital usage helps us manage our time wisely. And that gives us more time to spend on truly fulfilling activities. Managing your digital world can be difficult, but a few simple changes reap big rewards!

We all use technology more these days

Even prior to the impact of COVID-10, technology use had increased at rapid rates. A 2018 article on medium.com showed:

• A 40% increase in total digital media usage since 2013
• Doubling of smartphone usage in 3 years
• More than half of internet time was on “leisure activities,” including social media, video viewing, entertainment/music, and games.

And the pandemic has only intensified digital usage. According to the Pew Research Center, “a majority of Americans are turning to digital means to stay connected and track information about the outbreak.”

Technology brings many benefits

Across the globe, we use the internet to work, educate our children, shop, and connect with loved ones long distance. We use technology for many valid reasons, including connecting and relaxing.

And yet, the average person now spends more than 3 hours a day on mobile devices. And, social media accounts for 20% of the total time spent online.

We must remember it’s a tool

Increasingly, technology experts caution that technology is a tool which can easily overcome our lives. Unless we use it intentionally. Cal Newport’s 2019 New York Times best-selling book, Digital Minimalism, is revolutionizing how many people approach digital tools.

Cal explains, “Digital minimalism is a philosophy that helps you question what digital communication tools (and behaviors surrounding these tools) add the most value to your life.”

The digital minimalist philosophy is grounded in simplicity and intentionality. Essentially, digital minimalism is decluttering your digital footprint. Think of it as clearing away low-value digital noise and reducing your technology to tools that significantly improve your life.

Six simple tips to declutter your digital footprint (curated from leading experts)

Inspired by digital minimalism? Want to declutter and simplify your digital footprint to clear out low-value digital noise?

Try these six simple (not always easy) tips for being intentional about your tech!

1. Intentionally make space for technology you love and eliminate everything else.

This philosophy is the heart of minimalism in every area of your life and it works digitally as well. Delete anything you don’t use regularly and can go find if / when you need it, especially in these four areas: a) Applications on your tablet or phone, b) Software programs on your computer, c) News subscriptions, d) Email subscriptions, including retailers, bloggers, and more.

2. Be aware of how much you consume versus how much you produce (consumption:production ratio).

Many people find that they’re spending way more time consuming (reading, viewing, following, liking) than they are producing. If you’ve ever taken “just a minute” to look at a social media feed, you know what I mean. Monitor your usage statistics on your device — and set limits if you’re having difficulty managing your habits.

3. Turn off your notifications and schedule designated technology time.

Leading experts recommend checking email twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. You can do the same thing with social media and news. If you need to rein yourself in, set a timer to manage your time! Also, you can use a simple out of office message that explains when you’ll respond to manage expectations with your digital community or with clients.

4. Set dedicated “no technology” zones and times.

Many people choose to preserve meal times as technology-free. This is especially important with children in the household as your habits become theirs rather quickly. You might also designate a period of time prior to bedtime as cell phone free. And definitely

5. Consider a news fast and/or social media sabbatical

Setting intentional time away from technology feeds your soul. Often, we don’t realize how much time we’re dedicating to our devices and technology until we have an extended break from them. If this is hard for you, start small and leave your phone behind for an hour. Some people find it beneficial to take a week or more untethered!

6. Be where you are, right now.

I’m talking to myself here. This is one of the hardest ones for me because I LOVE a good photo opportunity. I value preserving moments but sometimes I need to just savor them in my heart and mind. Be mindful of when you’re present or not present!

Resources to help declutter your digital footprint:

• Susan B. Arico, a fellow Hopewriter that I admire greatly, writes about soul over cell (phones). Check out this excellent article on “What do we do when we’re overwhelmed“!
• Cal Newport’s book, Digital Minimalism, provides practical tips to help you rethink your relationship to social media, experience the world around you and use regular intervals of solitude to reconnect with your inner self.
• SLOWW focuses on slowing down in a fast-paced world, living simpler, and finding purpose.
• The Social Dilemna documentary discusses social networking in today’s world.

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Your physical surroundings contribute substantially to your mood and your resilience and when you declutter your home you control more than just your space. Even small steps can make a big difference in your overall perspective.

This is especially true when change strikes fast and hard. Sometimes you just need to do the dishes or organize a closet to gain some control when everything around you seems to be chaos.

Your mind needs a place to focus

There’s a reason I started this series with decluttering your mind and emotions. When we encounter uncertainty, change, or unfamiliar situations, our brains seek solutions by going into reactive mode. As humans, we are wired to protect ourselves from danger at a very basic level (think sabre-tooth tiger).

In today’s world, we may not immediately see the threat — but our brains react to uncertainty or change as if it means impending danger. So our brains are simply trying to identify the threat and provide solutions to protect us. I experience this sometimes as unending questions or circular thought patterns.

One way to stop the “chatter” is to give your brain a place to focus that you CAN control.

External calm quiets the internal space

One of my favorite influences in creating a physical space that feeds your sense of calm and control is The Nester, Myquillyn Smith. In her book, Cozy Minimalist Home, Myquillyn talks about the connection between our homes and our minds.

“When home feels out of control, no matter what the reason, unsettledness and anxiety can seep in, and then the chaos becomes internal as well as external.” 

—Myquillyn Smith, “Cozy Minimalist Home: More Style, Less Stuff“

Myquillyn has many fantastic practical tips for creating a home you love, but one in particular revolutionized my thoughts: “quieting your space.”

A decluttered home = a quiet home

Removing clutter from any space softens the visual impact. We don’t always realize how visually loud our homes are until we remove items from the space. Myquillyn recommends temporarily removing items so that a room has a “chance to breathe.”

When you’re down to only the largest items, usually the furniture, the room may at first seem stark. But as you work through the process, you’re adding in only items that are visually appealing, functional and suited to you and your lifestyle.

You don’t need a spotless home — just one that you find comfortable, functional and calming. And when mama’s happy, everyone’s happy, right?

Start small, think long-term

I encourage you to tackle your entire home, over time. But I’ve also found that smaller steps add up.

Here are 4 “quick fix” ways to declutter your home!

4 “Quick Fix” steps to declutter your home

1. Focus on your entry / exit area. Walk in your front door as if you were a visitor. As you step into your home, take note of what you feel, see, smell, and hear. Does entering your home make you more relaxed or more tense? Notice any areas that create chaos rather than calm in your mind. What can you add, subtract or change even slightly to improve how you enter and exit your home?
2. Organize the area of your home that you spend the most time in with your family (often the living room). As you step into your main gathering space, what is the overall look and feel? Are you comfortable and happy? What creates stress? Remove any areas of clutter to another room to tackle when you have time later. Tidy or straighten if needed. And, make sure you have included items that make you and your family smile when they walk in the room!
3. Simplify your kitchen and dining area. The kitchen is the room in our homes that needs to function the smoothest and often is last on our lists to declutter. in our home. Most of us prepare or at least organize three meals a day for our families, even if some of those are actually eaten outside the home. Spend your time in the kitchen and dining area ensuring that you have what you need readily at hand for the tasks that you manage daily. Consider if your dishes, cooking utensils and towels are easily accessible. Look at your pantry and use/eliminate any food items that you’re not using or have expired. And of course, put away any mail, papers or other non-food-related items on countertops or other flat surfaces!
4. Finally, tackle your bedrooms and bathrooms. Make sure that each person in your household has a calm and relaxing place to retreat, sleep and rejuvenate.

Keep it simple!

It’s cliche but small steps do add up to big change over time. And decluttering is inevitably an ongoing process, a journey we return to again and again as our lives evolve and change.

Whenever you notice that you’re beginning to feel overwhelmed or your mind is racing in circles — stop, breathe, and look around you to see if you have a quick “declutter” you can do in your home. And then, take a step back and look at what’s going on in your heart and mind! Often, you’ll find you’ve gained a fresh perspective by controlling what you can control in your physical space.

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Declutter your mind and emotions on Election Day 2020? Taking control of our emotions and our thought processes means choosing to focus on the positive and not allowing the negative to hold court in our heads. This may seem daunting when so much is up in the air, yet during unsettled times we need to exercise our “control muscles” more than ever.

This day carries many emotions for Americans, particularly in this year of political, cultural and personal uncertainty. And on top of the general election chaos (I think it’s fair to call it that no matter your political views), we’re living in a global crisis. Much of what we took for granted in prior years has been shaken to the core by the pandemic. Controlling what we can grounds us in the midst of uncertainty.

Uncertainty can lead to anxiety

While clearing the clutter from our hearts and minds sounds simple, this task can be one of the most difficult. When life is uncertain, we humans find it difficult to prepare efficiently and effectively for the future. And when we can’t prepare, we often feel anxious or scared. When emotions run high, we can easily become overwhelmed.

During uncertain times — whether elections and holidays or major life changes — it’s more important than ever to streamline our thinking. So, I came up with a few simple tips to get us started.

6 Steps to declutter your mind and emotions

1. Clear your head by actively unwinding. Taking care of yourself is an automatic “declutterer” for your mind and emotions. When we are stressed or overloaded, our mind and emotions can overpower us, limiting our ability to take action. Take regular walks, do your favorite exercises, eat well, meditate or pray, read positive books!
2. Take inventory of your feelings. Remember, feelings are not good or bad, they’re simply there. Emotions protect us and help us navigate the world, but they don’t always accurately depict a situation. Often, we need to “fact-check” our feelings. My friend Sara Clime has a great four-step “Facts Over Fear” exercise you might consider when you want to make sure your emotions give you accurate information.
3. Let go of negative thoughts and emotions. This sounds so simple and can be so difficult. It’s human nature to hold onto negative thought patterns. Your inner critic unintentionally feeds you lies, and your brain will latch onto this negativity. There’s an ancient Native American legend that says whichever “wolf” we feed will grow — we choose the dark, negative one or the positive, light one by which one we feed. Choose to feed your positive thoughts and emotions!
4. Set priorities. Simplifying experts tell us that knowing what to keep is the most important step in decluttering. Knowing your priorities gives you a lot of power and simplifies choices. For example, if you’ve set your family as a priority, then you can easily decide to put boundaries around your work time. When you prioritize one area of your life, and keep it a priority, you rein in your focus — thus removing areas that don’t need your attention.
5. Decide to decide. Much of what fills our brain is a host of large and small decisions to be made. When we put off decisions, our brains hold space for the pending decision. Start with the simple decisions and check off as many as you can. You’ll be surprised how much mental weight you can lose by removing items from your “list.” If a decision is bigger than you’re ready to handle, break it down so that you can take at least one next step, clearing the way for another and another.
6. Connect with supportive friends and family. Limiting your contact with negativity will help you stay positive. Period. People who criticize, judge or talk down to you create needless “mind chatter” and drain your emotions. And, those who build you up and encourage you are the ones you want more of in your life. This applies to your social media and news habits also — seek out the positive, practical and productive.

So, on this Election Day, or any time you feel unsettled or uncertain, declutter your mind and emotions with these simple steps: 1) Clear the headspace, 2) Take inventory, 3) Let go of the negative, 4) Set priorities, 5) Decide, and 6) Connect with your support.

Choose simple, especially in your head and your heart.

May you feel the comfort of a clear mind and open heart. May you find peace on this day and always remember that God works through every circumstance.

The post Declutter your mind and emotions appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

But when change strikes fast and hard, have you ever found yourself doing the dishes or reorganizing a closet? And doesn’t it feel good to have some control when everything around you seems to be chaos?

Facing the big things seems daunting

We face many changes and challenges in this middle time of our lives in normal times: children growing older, people falling ill, changing work conditions. And everything is intensified with the COVID-19, the elections and so much more uncertainty in 2020.

This year has definitely been one of having a lot that seems out of our control.

Controlling what we can may seem small

Yes, it seems counterintuitive to focus on such seemingly small things as the dishes when you’re faced with a major change, a crisis or a big decision. It may seem silly to pick up the kids’ toys and buy new bathroom towels when you’re trying to find your way in a world that seems topsy-turvy.

Even paying attention to our own attitudes, reactions and behaviors feels like it may not make a major difference in the world. And yet, these small things make a difference in our corner of the world.

Clearing the clutter gives us a tiny bit of control

And when we feel like we have some power over our circumstances, we begin to feel calmer. And when we begin to feel calmer, we can think more clearly.

When we face difficult situations or transitions, our mind tends to become overwhelmed with the situation. To make wise decisions, we have to focus on what’s most important.

We can’t be clear-headed when our minds are so overwhelmed.

Controlling what we can control makes room for other change

Experts in simplifying and organizing have long touted the benefits of creating a calm space to transform your life in other ways. When we make the small changes, we weed out what we don’t need as well as the “busy thoughts” and tasks that distract from the true issues.

We give ourselves physical, mental and emotional space to transition through change.

“In my study of happiness, I’ve realized that for most of us, outer order contributes to inner calm.”

Gretchen Rubin, Outer Order, Inner Calm: declutter and organize to make more room for happiness

In the weeks ahead …

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be talking about very practical ways you can begin to create a calmer space around you so that you can focus on the bigger changes in your life.

Here’s an overview of five key areas we can declutter to gain control — with a little work!

#1: Declutter your mind / emotions

The most important place to begin exercising our “control muscles” is within our own heads. While this sounds simple, managing our minds is perhaps the most difficult task of all. We’ll talk about silencing the inner critic, controlling our reactions, and listening to our own feelings.

#2: Declutter your home

Your physical surroundings contribute substantially to your mood and your resilience. And you don’t have to have a spotless home — just one that you find comfortable, functional and calming.

#3: Declutter your digital footprint

Managing your digital world is much more difficult than it used to be. Computers, tablets and phones bring the world to our fingertips — in both positive and challenging ways. Taking steps to control your digital environment can definitely bring some calmness to your life.

#4: Declutter your office / work space

Whether your work is at home or in an office, decluttering your space and setting up strong routines will help you. For many of us, work has changed dramatically in the past few months — we’ll talk about ways to ensure you keep up!

#5: Declutter your relationships

It sounds strange to talk about decluttering relationships but this is an area where many of us would like to regain control. We need positive, affirming relationships in order to navigate life well.

And remember …

Control what you can control and let the rest go!

Life is too short to spend it worrying. “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:27). May we always remember that God has it under control!

The post Control what you can control appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

First, acknowledge that simplicity is hard

As I noted from the many articles about simplifying, it’s really a complex concept. We can simplify everything from our possessions to our time to our money. We discuss making space mentally, physically and in our calendar. And we can shift from macro level, or “big picture,” to the micro level and specific types of simplifying, such as decluttering your home or your inbox

Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, said:

“Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.”

Steve Jobs

Second, write down what is essential to you

Getting your thinking clean starts with understanding what is most important to you. While the topic of simplifying is surprisingly complicated, most experts agree that the core concept of simplicity is to eliminate all but the essential. Many of today’s top book titles and blogs discuss essentialism, minimalism, or “less is more.”

Truthfully, understanding what is essential is an individual process. And it’s more difficult in today’s world of plenty, of excess, of wants more than needs. The consumerism of the past few decades often blinds us to knowing what we actually need or even want.

So you can see how it’s important to understand what is essential to you. Reflect on it. Write it down.

Third, start simplifying everything

Now that you have acknowledged that simplicity is not easy and written down your essentials, it’s time to begin the hard work of simplifying. This is perhaps the hardest step. Simplifying everything is much harder than it sounds — and much easier. When we approach simplifying as a lifelong process rather than a one-time task, we begin to make progress.

“One day she woke up and decided to simplify everything.”

Marylou Falstreau

Just like that, we can stop talking about simplifying: and simplify. It becomes a daily choice. Begin to think about simplification at every opportunity and your life will become more simple.

Questions to help you simplify

Here are a few simplifying questions you can ask yourself throughout the day, even multiple times in a day:

• What am I making space for in my life that is not essential?
• What can I remove or say ‘no’ to today?
• How can I streamline this activity?
• How can I convey this concept more simply?
• What can I do to make this process more efficient?
• What have I been putting off that I can do today?
• Do I need to do this task or can I take it off my list?
• How can I take charge of this area of my life?
• Where can I create routines that reduce the number of decisions I need to make?
• How can I “batch process” to consolidate tasks into more efficient timelines?

Asking ourselves questions about our daily lives keeps us present to the choices we are making. This process helps us think more clearly and avoid making life overly complicated.

Simplifying is a process not just a conversation

When we find simplicity in our daily lives, we can stop talking about simplifying: and simplify, one step at a time. In reality, you may find that you talk about simplifying a lot — but it will be because you are doing something about it, not struggling to figure it out. Let’s spend our time doing what is important to us! I’d love to hear your thoughts on what it means to you to live simply.

May you seek God’s wisdom and know deep in your bones what is most essential to you. May you remove the excess to focus on the essential. And may you find peace as you live simply and intentionally.

The post How to stop talking about simplifying: and simplify appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.