A midlife manifesto

A midlife manifesto can help you navigate your middle adult years, that broad section of life that’s so much more than an existential crisis. Are you familiar with manifestos?

Merriam-Webster defines a manifesto as: “a written statement declaring publicly the intentions, motives, or views of its issuer.” We often see manifestos in the political arena, but also in the arts world, social work and other areas. And, yes, individuals have manifestos also!

A manifesto names your purpose

A manifesto helps you name a destination and a course to navigate to achieve your goals. It names deep important purposes and truths by which you live your life.

I’ve been thinking a lot about a manifesto to guide this midlife journey. In my late 30s and even in my 40s, I barely admitted that I was in midlife. I was so busy building a life that I rarely stopped to ponder the course of the life I was living.

Most of us enter midlife quietly

Our biggest cultural clue to midlife is that of a crisis — or menopause, neither of which sound exactly inviting. And so I think we avoid the topic, continue to let life unfold and attend to all of the aspects of our lives that were the goals of our younger selves.

We build families and careers, both of which require a good deal of energy from us. We learn to juggle the responsibilities that have come our way, balancing as if on a tightrope across treacherous grounds.

And if we’re lucky, we keep it all together

We raise healthy, happy kids. We pay attention to our marriages and our spouses, communicating well and growing ever closer. And, we find meaningful work that supports our family goals and helps us pay the bills.

But sometimes, life throws us curveballs and we’re not the picture-perfect family that shows up on Facebook or Instagram. What then?

How do we make decisions when we’re not where we thought we’d be?

To me, midlife becomes the space for navigating changes and challenges. And that’s why I think it’s so important to establish good guidelines early in this stage of life.

Navigating midlife IS different from other stages of life. To navigate successfully, we have to begin to think differently. And this is where, I think, having a midlife manifesto can be a real help!

How is a midlife manifesto different?

Several key factors differentiate midlife from other stages. As I begin to develop my own midlife manifesto, here are seven key aspects that I’m considering.

1. When we recognize that we’re in the “second third” of life, we begin to acknowledge that life is finite, our time is limited.
2. As we navigate midlife, we “settle into our own bones” and we become more confident in our strengths and more focused on doing what we do best.
3. With children getting older and becoming more and more independent we notice that we’re switching our leadership style to one of influence rather than one of control; we’re busy letting go!
4. Pain that we’ve hidden, avoided or numbed away begins to be more obvious, often showing up as health issues or even addictive behaviors (think wine o’clock, constant social media scrolling, lack of exercise, poor eating habits, etc.).
5. We begin to yearn for a simpler life, less scheduled and less cluttered. We need more margin in our lives.
6. We often realize that we’ve put self-care, deep soul nourishment in particular, too far down the “to do list.”
7. And, we place greater emphasis on and seek new ways to make a difference in the world, more in line with our strengths and interests.

What would you include in a midlife manifesto?

Navigating the changes and challenges of middle adulthood requires a new way of thinking and being. And, we navigate best with a community of like-minded people. I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions!