When change snowballs

How do you handle change when it snowballs on you? When it comes at you so fast that you’re left wondering what just happened?!

Change sometimes happens unexpectedly and can have radical impacts on your life. Other times, change sneaks up faster than you anticipated, or simply gathers momentum as it cascades around you.

Snowballing change wreaks havoc

Just like the early winter storm here. We’re used to an earlier fall and winter than most of our friends and family in the “Lower 48” states. But, even Alaskans were not prepared for the heavy snow we received in East Anchorage in the third week of September.

The snow was so heavy that many trees fell or lost branches under the unexpected weight. Our local electric company reported: “This early season storm is even more challenging because the leaves on the trees make them heavier than they are in winter.”

When change snowballs we feel the weight

Just like the trees still sporting their still-yellowing leaves, unexpected and/or big changes easily overwhelm us. We feel the weight of changes that happen in our world.

But what we’re really feeling is the weight of our emotions about the change. We’re feeling the weight of the internal process we need to go through to adjust to the change.

Snowballing change requires internal adjustment

William Bridges identifies this internal change process as transition. And he says this about transition:

“The transition itself begins with letting go of something that you have believed or assumed, some way you’ve always been or seen yourself, some outlook on the world or attitude toward others.”

William Bridges, Transitions, p. 132

We need time to move beyond the overwhelming feelings associated with rapid or unexpected change. And, we must recognize that we all process changes in different ways.

You may find it helpful to talk with people who’ve been through a similar change. Or you may simply need time and space to process your thoughts and feelings. And, you may need both. Your experience will be uniquely yours.

Each of us has our unique “bowl of emotions”

Have you heard this analogy? My daughter, the one who’s moving, is also working on her master’s in social work. I love chatting with her about change and transformation because she always has a thoughtful and well-informed perspective.

Recently, she shared that her counselor had asked how she was feeling about the changes ahead for her and our son-in-law. When she described her feeling as overwhelmed, the counselor pulled out the “emotions bowl,” filled with slips of paper, each with an emotion.

Several minutes later, our daughter had a rather large pile of emotions in front of her. When change overwhelms, you can be quite sure that the weight you’re feeling needs some unpacking!

When change snowballs, so do the emotions

When you’re going through a season of change, it helps to be aware of this internal process. Change management experts, therapists, and counselors remind us to slow down during these times, to pay attention to what’s going on in our hearts, minds and bodies.

Each of us has our own bowl of emotions, swirling and sometimes even contradicting each other. And, if you’re empathetic, you may also be “feeling” the emotions of those around you.

Start with the ending

It helps to begin with the ending. By acknowledging the loss that we’re experiencing, we begin the important work of processing what the change means to us.

It’s not like I didn’t know that winter was coming, it’s just that it hit earlier and harder than I anticipated. And underneath that, I’m sad to let go of warmer days and spending time in my garden. I’m grappling with rearranging my schedule, my closet, and even my menu.

Likewise, I need to process the ending in our family. As I said goodbye to my son-in-law on Sunday and watched my daughter’s video of him driving away from their apartment this morning, I experienced a swirl of emotions.

Excuse me while I grab a tissue and that bowl — I’ve got some emotional unpacking to do! We’ll talk more about this process soon.