Unfortunately what many of us discover in midlife is that we’re over-committed, over-functioning and over-burdened by so much that feels essential in our lives. But if we’re buried in responsibilities and burnt out, we’re not living our BEST life.

What’s missing? If you’re wondering when (or if) you’ll get to fullfill the dreams of your younger self, it’s possible you’re simply living a life. And just maybe, the life you’re living isn’t your best life, the one that’s part of your own unique design.

How do know if you’re living your best life?

Maybe it’s easier to know if you’re NOT living your best life. On the inside cover of his latest book, Effortless,* Author Greg McKeown describes the way that I was living, the way that I think many women in midlife live.

As high achievers, we’ve been conditioned to believe that the path to success is paved with relentless work. That if we want to overachieve, we have to overexert, overthink, and overdo. That if we aren’t perpetually exhausted, we’re not doing enough. But lately, working hard feels harder than ever. And the more depleted we get, the more effort it takes to make progress.”

Greg McKeown, Author of “Effortless”

Many of us are burnt out.

We’re not meant to live depleted

McKeown describes this way of living as “working twice as hard only to achieve half as much.” And he’s written two entire books about how to live a smarter, more fulfilled life.

I highly recommend both of his books: Essentialism and Effortless. To live our best lives, we need to be doing activities that are our very best activities, but we also need to do them with far less effort!

Living your best life isn’t easy

Living your best life, I’ve learned, requires discipline and a lot of practice. I’ve had to learn to honestly assess myself, to speak up, and to set boundaries.

Over the past several years, I’ve put a lot of work into reflecting on what’s most important to me, where my gifts (aka superpowers) lie, what’s mine to do and what I need to let go, and so much more.

“If we wait until we are old to recognize that matters most, there is little future left to change.”

Steve Leder, Author of “The Beauty of what remains”

I’m still learning. And, still practicing.

Your best life is a journey, not a destination

Living your best life is a daily practice of living your best moments. When you live each moment intentionally, your life unfolds to meet you where you are.

I’ve learned a lot and I’d love to help you along on your journey! Want to check it out risk-free? Sign up for a free introductory coaching session.

*Note: I occasionally provide links to books or other materials where as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

The post Living your (best) life appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Merriam-Webster defines a manifesto as: “a written statement declaring publicly the intentions, motives, or views of its issuer.” We often see manifestos in the political arena, but also in the arts world, social work and other areas. And, yes, individuals have manifestos also!

A manifesto names your purpose

A manifesto helps you name a destination and a course to navigate to achieve your goals. It names deep important purposes and truths by which you live your life.

I’ve been thinking a lot about a manifesto to guide this midlife journey. In my late 30s and even in my 40s, I barely admitted that I was in midlife. I was so busy building a life that I rarely stopped to ponder the course of the life I was living.

Most of us enter midlife quietly

Our biggest cultural clue to midlife is that of a crisis — or menopause, neither of which sound exactly inviting. And so I think we avoid the topic, continue to let life unfold and attend to all of the aspects of our lives that were the goals of our younger selves.

We build families and careers, both of which require a good deal of energy from us. We learn to juggle the responsibilities that have come our way, balancing as if on a tightrope across treacherous grounds.

And if we’re lucky, we keep it all together

We raise healthy, happy kids. We pay attention to our marriages and our spouses, communicating well and growing ever closer. And, we find meaningful work that supports our family goals and helps us pay the bills.

But sometimes, life throws us curveballs and we’re not the picture-perfect family that shows up on Facebook or Instagram. What then?

How do we make decisions when we’re not where we thought we’d be?

To me, midlife becomes the space for navigating changes and challenges. And that’s why I think it’s so important to establish good guidelines early in this stage of life.

Navigating midlife IS different from other stages of life. To navigate successfully, we have to begin to think differently. And this is where, I think, having a midlife manifesto can be a real help!

How is a midlife manifesto different?

Several key factors differentiate midlife from other stages. As I begin to develop my own midlife manifesto, here are seven key aspects that I’m considering.

1. When we recognize that we’re in the “second third” of life, we begin to acknowledge that life is finite, our time is limited.
2. As we navigate midlife, we “settle into our own bones” and we become more confident in our strengths and more focused on doing what we do best.
3. With children getting older and becoming more and more independent we notice that we’re switching our leadership style to one of influence rather than one of control; we’re busy letting go!
4. Pain that we’ve hidden, avoided or numbed away begins to be more obvious, often showing up as health issues or even addictive behaviors (think wine o’clock, constant social media scrolling, lack of exercise, poor eating habits, etc.).
5. We begin to yearn for a simpler life, less scheduled and less cluttered. We need more margin in our lives.
6. We often realize that we’ve put self-care, deep soul nourishment in particular, too far down the “to do list.”
7. And, we place greater emphasis on and seek new ways to make a difference in the world, more in line with our strengths and interests.

What would you include in a midlife manifesto?

Navigating the changes and challenges of middle adulthood requires a new way of thinking and being. And, we navigate best with a community of like-minded people. I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions!

The post A midlife manifesto appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.