Soul-filling perspective on aging and life

Today, I spent a fun day out in the woods with my 82-year-old father, his older sister and her husband, his sister-in-law, and my cousin and her husband. We loaded up in one big boat-sized vehicle, along with two dogs — and headed out for a day on a remote prairie in central Oregon.

“You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.”

Douglas MacArthur

After a long Alaska winter with a lot of white, my heart rejoiced at the fresh green grasses, tall Ponderosa pines, and bright yellow Arnica flowers, a few early camas lilies, and blue bellflowers. And we weren’t alone! We shared the day with white-tailed mule deer, pronghorn antelope, an eagle, gaggles of Canadian geese and their goslings, and a rare look at a few of the prairie’s wild horses.

I love nature and this alone filled my soul. Yet the best part of the day for me was hearing my dad and his sister, her husband and their sister-in-law catch up on life. All octogenarians, they have a lifetime of experience behind them. They’ve seen a lot, lived well, lost people they love and yet … they were so glad to spend the day with each other, searching out flowers and wildlife on a prairie on a rainy day, with cameras in hand.

But the real treasure is in the company

The conversation in the car between flower and wildlife sightings was relaxed. While my cousin and I caught up in the 3rd row and her husband drove, the four 80+ year olds talked about faith and politics, people they have known, situations they conquered, funny stories and so much more. They have known each other for more than 50 years and interact easily, and with grace for each other.

This is a brave generation and these four have lived through rapid change. They were born at a time when no roads existed from one side of the North American continent to the other. Each of them and their parents lived through the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression. They passed information from family to family through intricate chain letters, shared in a great circle from one to the next. They saw the first computers, as large as a room, transform into a gadget that fits in their hands and brings them pictures and even videos of family far away.

These four are benefactors of improved medical processes. Each has ailments that have benefitted from technology and education not seen by prior generations. And yet, they are not as spry as they were, decades ago.

Bodies are more frail.

At our first stop, my dad stepped out into the woods, lost his footing on a slope and took a tumble. As my cousin’s husband and I helped him up, we realized his arm was bleeding and he had a skin tear on fragile skin, susceptible due to blood thinners. We found a small first aid kit and some band-aids, and did basic field triage. Resilience. Moving on.

Memory isn’t as good as it used to be.

About 10 minutes down the road, Dad realized he didn’t have his wallet and thought he must have lost it in his misadventures. We backtracked, noticing that going backwards seems to take longer than the original journey. We didn’t find the wallet – but then Dad realized he was also missing his credit cards and that it was possible that He didn’t bring either at all. My aunt, ever gracious, replied, “well, maybe the extra time was just what we needed to see more wildlife.”

And she was so right — we had our best wildlife viewing in the miles ahead. Maybe what 80+ years on this earth brings us is perspective, and patience, and grace for each other.

Life is one big adventure

At 80+ they individually and collectively seem to understand that life goes on, that each of us though not perfect, brings value. Together, they have memories and they bring them to life just by their easy chatter and gentle grace with each other.

I want to capture these moments in my heart

I could sit and listen all day, soaking it in and saving it up for a day when they are not here. I know they’ve had good times and hard times, they’ve lived with grief and joy. Today was simply together, soul-filling, joy in what the day brought us. And I loved it!

What will fill your soul in the days ahead?

What brings you joy? What gets you through the tough spots? What is your vision for your life?

Here are 7 questions to ask yourself as you consider how you will live the rest of your “one good life”:

1. If you look to the very end of your life, what would you want people to say about you?
2. What are your beliefs and how have you lived them out?
3. How are you living now?
4. Are you the person you want to be?
5. Are you doing what you want to do?
6. If you could wave a magic wand, what would your life look like right now?
7. How might life be different if you lived as you really want to live?

Let this soul work transform you

Write down your answers and let those words sink in slowly, deeply into your soul. May you find truth and grace to make the slow small changes that will bring you closer to living today in line with your soul’s deepest desires. And may you grow closer to God and your given and chosen people!