Control what you can control

You can only control what you can control — and sometimes it doesn’t feel like very much at all. We can’t control pandemics, riots, or elections. We have no power over how other people behave nor of a myriad of changes that impact us.

But when change strikes fast and hard, have you ever found yourself doing the dishes or reorganizing a closet? And doesn’t it feel good to have some control when everything around you seems to be chaos?

Facing the big things seems daunting

We face many changes and challenges in this middle time of our lives in normal times: children growing older, people falling ill, changing work conditions. And everything is intensified with the COVID-19, the elections and so much more uncertainty in 2020.

This year has definitely been one of having a lot that seems out of our control.

Controlling what we can may seem small

Yes, it seems counterintuitive to focus on such seemingly small things as the dishes when you’re faced with a major change, a crisis or a big decision. It may seem silly to pick up the kids’ toys and buy new bathroom towels when you’re trying to find your way in a world that seems topsy-turvy.

Even paying attention to our own attitudes, reactions and behaviors feels like it may not make a major difference in the world. And yet, these small things make a difference in our corner of the world.

Clearing the clutter gives us a tiny bit of control

And when we feel like we have some power over our circumstances, we begin to feel calmer. And when we begin to feel calmer, we can think more clearly.

When we face difficult situations or transitions, our mind tends to become overwhelmed with the situation. To make wise decisions, we have to focus on what’s most important.

We can’t be clear-headed when our minds are so overwhelmed.

Controlling what we can control makes room for other change

Experts in simplifying and organizing have long touted the benefits of creating a calm space to transform your life in other ways. When we make the small changes, we weed out what we don’t need as well as the “busy thoughts” and tasks that distract from the true issues.

We give ourselves physical, mental and emotional space to transition through change.

“In my study of happiness, I’ve realized that for most of us, outer order contributes to inner calm.”

Gretchen Rubin, Outer Order, Inner Calm: declutter and organize to make more room for happiness

In the weeks ahead …

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be talking about very practical ways you can begin to create a calmer space around you so that you can focus on the bigger changes in your life.

Here’s an overview of five key areas we can declutter to gain control — with a little work!

#1: Declutter your mind / emotions

The most important place to begin exercising our “control muscles” is within our own heads. While this sounds simple, managing our minds is perhaps the most difficult task of all. We’ll talk about silencing the inner critic, controlling our reactions, and listening to our own feelings.

#2: Declutter your home

Your physical surroundings contribute substantially to your mood and your resilience. And you don’t have to have a spotless home — just one that you find comfortable, functional and calming.

#3: Declutter your digital footprint

Managing your digital world is much more difficult than it used to be. Computers, tablets and phones bring the world to our fingertips — in both positive and challenging ways. Taking steps to control your digital environment can definitely bring some calmness to your life.

#4: Declutter your office / work space

Whether your work is at home or in an office, decluttering your space and setting up strong routines will help you. For many of us, work has changed dramatically in the past few months — we’ll talk about ways to ensure you keep up!

#5: Declutter your relationships

It sounds strange to talk about decluttering relationships but this is an area where many of us would like to regain control. We need positive, affirming relationships in order to navigate life well.

And remember …

Control what you can control and let the rest go!

Life is too short to spend it worrying. “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:27). May we always remember that God has it under control!