7 Unexpected lessons I’ve learned in my midlife timeout (so far)

While it scarcely feels like it, nine months have passed since I officially retired from my job and entered this unique space of time. With three months to go in a one-year “timeout,” I am well aware of the passing of time. And, I’ve learned a few unexpected lessons about taking a timeout that may be useful to you as you consider taking space for yourself. Whether you carve out a day, a week, a month or a year, I think you’ll find these lessons hold true!

“I think the worst sort of time travel is how the clock speeds up when I’m on my break.” 

― Joyce Rachelle

1. Time stops for no one

Except perhaps in sporting events, time does not stand still, even for one moment. As Joyce Rachelle notes, this rule of the universe is especially true when you’re on a break (or in timeout). Perhaps I pictured lazy days, sleeping in, reading books, relaxing — just as I remember from being a kid when time moved so very slowly. This has not been the case, at all. Truthfully, the time has flown by faster than I could possibly have imagined. Knowing this, be intentional about how you spend your time!

2. The universe (and you) fill space

I knew I would have no problem filling my time. I was already struggling to find time for my passions — my family, my hobbies, my home. But somehow, I ended up busier than I was when I was working. Perhaps this is my personality but I do think that the universe somehow senses a gap and moves in also. I had unexpected family medical crises, a home remodel project that went far awry (I’ll spare you the details and share about our “floorpocalypse” another time), and multiple trips on top of trying to find space for what I really wanted to spend my time doing.

3. Small routines make a big difference

One of the best lessons was a simple change in morning routine. My husband and I had been going on occasional morning walks and instead of sleeping in, which I’d imagined doing and actually looked forward to, I began getting up with him every morning at 5:45 am to be out the door by 6:00 am. We began with a short walk, less than a mile, and gradually increased to a regular two mile walk.

Honestly, this morning routine has been the best thing! I am decidedly NOT a morning person, so I give full credit to Wolfgang for leading us in this effort. Without his self discipline, this lazy morning gal would still be buried under the covers. Instead, my day is off to a great start, my exercise app is happy, I jump start my metabolism, and I have hours ahead of me.

4. Prioritize or plans perish

I’m a checklist person, and rarely go a day without one, but I learned that even in a timeout you can fill a whole day with small things unless you prioritize the big things. Use whatever tools work for you in “real life” to prioritize your refresh time as well. I’ve found that setting regular time to brainstorm upcoming priorities helps me plan out my days as well as specific periods of time (weekly, monthly, or even the year).

5. Set time parameters or completion goals

Setting time parameters or completion goals is more important than ever, especially if you’re easily distracted as a rule (or if you haven’t taken time to prioritize, see lesson #4). One of my projects during this timeout was to publish my website and blog — a big learning curve for me. And I found that in the pursuit of this goal, there were lots of gurus, lots of websites, lots of Facebook groups, lots of “squirrels” and “shiny objects” that may or may not have been helpful, but drew me down “rabbit holes” I might emerge from hours later. Having set goals and time parameters helped me stay true to my original intention.

6. Inspiration comes from exploring and listening

As you seek to build a better or new you, look around and within. Inspiration comes in many different and sometimes unexpected ways. Look for mentors and models in your community, online or in groups that inspire you. Do activities that allow you to reflect, contemplate, and tune in to yourself. Spend time talking with friends and family members. Take long walks, do the hard exercise workouts, read soul-filling books, listen to podcasts that fill your bucket. And most of all, give yourself time and space to process. Keeping a journal or diary may be an important part of your journey.

7. Relaxing and having fun need space too

I am learning that yes, change can be difficult, but it happens if you just give it space. Change happens gradually, often unobserved and deep within. It happens when you’re intentional about seeking it, or when you’re not in the least bit interested. But change is a lot harder if I am all stressed out and trying too hard, pressuring myself and others around me.

Navigating forward

And so, I am learning how to navigate this new space. I am certain that I’ll find more lessons to share. In the meantime, I just keep approaching each new day, knowing that my time is short and my goals are high, but God has the masterplan. How about you? Share your thoughts below!

I pray that you find joy in your journey and that you reset and renew with purpose. May you be inspired, have fun and continue to grow in God’s love, with his perfect timing.