When you’re overwhelmed
Spring comes slowly to Alaska and each year my heart struggles with the in-between mess and the anticipation of a bit of order returning. As I look out my window this morning on a cloudy 3rd day of May, my tendency is to see all of the mess remaining — the brown leaves covering garden beds, the debris of fallen twigs and branches, the gravel and dust. Plants work hard to find their way up through the clutter. As a gardener, I see lots of work ahead to prepare for the color of summer.
What people forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here.”
Anne Lamott, from Bird by Bird
Yes there is work to be done …
But focusing on the work is only part of the equation — if I focus only here, the tasks can be overwhelming. In my mind, I make a list that fills pages: clear garden beds, rake leaves and twigs from lawn, clean pots and decorations, reorganize the greenhouse/potting shed, etc.
I start one task and begin, yet soon I feel overwhelmed again. I remember the book I’m reading, Emily Freeman’s “The Next Right Thing.” She’s writing about decision making, but it’s also about life. Emily helps me realize that I can sit here in this springtime mess feeling overwhelmed, or I can simply pick one thing and do it right now, choosing what’s best for this moment. This helps me focus, removes pressure, gives me a way to begin.
As I put this into action, I make some progress, then sit down to enjoy this one flower bed, cleared of winter mulch. And I begin to appreciate my messy space.
Sometimes we shouldn’t rush through our messes
What can I learn about life from this messy garden today? Anne Lamott’s words remind me that as humans, we need to make (and wake up in) messes. These messes help us discover who we are and why we are here. Sitting in this mess, I stop to look and listen, observe and notice.
And immediately it feels right that we should learn from our messes. We learn and grow from all of our life circumstances, but especially those where we experience hurt or suffering, pain or even being overwhelmed. Jennie Allen, writing in Made for This, says, “The messiest waste of our lives becomes the most fertile soil.”
Simple steps to be less overwhelmed
Here are 4 simple ways you can learn from your own overwhelming circumstances today.
- First, simply notice the mess. Sit right there and let yourself take note of everything around you. Describe how it looks, how it feels, and notice how you want to react, both initially and as you lean into it. You may find that you want to run away from it all, delegate it, or even dive in and fix it all right now. You may immediately feel tired — or energized. Just notice and jot down a few notes to remind yourself.
- Second, slow down to notice the beauty in the mess. In my spring clean-up, I see trends that promise a brighter future. I notice the longer hours of sunlight, light rains, and warmer temperatures are bringing change to my garden. The early messengers of spring are beginning to appear. The bleeding heart plants are now 6″ tall, the purple crocuses are blooming in the front bed, and the birds are twittering away in the trees around me. As I notice this, I also realize that I need to look for growth in my personal life as well. No matter what your mess, you will find that noticing your areas of growth will bring joy to your heart.
- Third, acknowledge and name the work that needs to be done. Many of us have “fixer” hearts and our souls seek order and peace. We naturally notice the mess and want to make our environments whole, better, beautiful. Whether in a garden or in our lives, taking care of what is around us is important work, part of God’s calling from the beginning of the creation story. Let yourself feel the enormity of the changes you may need to make, the tasks ahead. Again, jot down a few notes to help you organize the mess in your mind. This could include a few categories of things to be addressed, or if you’re ready for it, specific tasks.
- And finally, do the work — and mark your progress as you go. Remember that clean-up takes time and be patient with yourself. As you take steps to tidy this mess, check off your progress on the list you made and build in small celebrations. Perhaps some of your celebrations could be as simple as sitting down to notice the “clean spots” you’ve made, the growth that’s happening imperceptibly, or the beauty that you’ve attracted (such as that tiny bird that swoops in to the now-clean and filled bird feeder!).
And out of chaos comes beauty
I already feel less overwhelmed with my messy yard and I’m ready to tackle another little mess I’ve created in my writing process! I hope that you have a new perspective as well. Simply acknowledging that we have a mess is the first step in learning from it.
I pray that you will find peace in your chaotic mess, and in the process of sitting in this beautiful space, learn more about who you are and why you’re here on this earth. May God bless you abundantly today!