Tips for planning assisted living visits
As restrictions begin to ease in many locations, I thought I would share my tips for planning assisted living home visits. Across the country and the world, the elderly have been perhaps most severely impacted by pandemic restrictions. But as vaccinations roll out and virus cases in many areas decline, visitor protocols will ease.
If you haven’t been allowed to visit your parent or loved one for a while, or have been restricted to public area visits, you know it’s just not the same as pre-Covid visits. I live more than 2,000 miles from my parents and was visiting every 6-10 weeks prior to Covid. I had my first in-person visit in 8 months this week.
But then our world shut down
And many of us weren’t allowed to see our parents for months. I stood outside my mom and stepdad’s living room window waving goodbye as I left last March.
When we could visit, it was either outdoors, or as we moved into winter, in private waiting rooms sanitized and often observed. Knowing the severe ALF restrictions — not to mention travel and flight restrictions — I only traveled two more times in that crazy year. And only because my father, who recovered from the hip surgery, fell ill and then passed away.
It’s been a crazy year
Like everyone else, I adapted. I had already convinced several doctors to loop me in by phone for appointments I couldn’t make in person. The pandemic actually made this process much easier as more healthcare facilities developed virtual options for patient visits. Adding a three-way conference was often unusual, but care providers accommodated my requests.
I am so grateful for video communication with my parents. Thankfully, I purchased a Grandpad, an elder friendly video conference solution, just a few months prior. (Check out this page with tips and suggestions for Low tech tips to communicate long distance with seniors.) My parents were well accustomed to these video calls, and as the in-person visits dropped off, I increased the frequency. Our daily calls have become a routine that we all enjoy — even the cat joins mom and I, and my step-dad frequently pops in to say hi.
What can you expect now?
As residents are vaccinated and national/state restrictions lift, care facilities are reassessing protocols. Some are beginning to allow limited in person visits with residents in their rooms (often called compassionate care visits).
This week, I traveled to Oregon to visit my mom and step-dad. I worked closely with the Assisted Living Facility (ALF) in advance. And, knowing my situation, they’ve allowed more visits within a tighter timeframe of four days. I was able to secure one in-room visit and two visits in a designated room.
Based on my experience, I put together a few tips to help you plan your visits when you’re able to do so.
Tips for planning assisted living visits
Since visits are still limited, it’s helpful to have a plan. Here are my tips to help you make the most of your in-room visits.
- Discuss rules and limitations with facility staff prior to your visit. At a minimum, you’ll need to complete a screening and adhere to mask and social distancing guidelines. Make sure you know how long you’re allowed to stay.
- Discuss the visit with your parent or loved one in advance (to the extent that they’re able to communicate). If possible, include them in the planning by asking them if they have specific concerns or activities in mind. If you have specific tasks you want to accomplish, let them know. For instance, I wanted to check for letters or communications I needed to help them address, inventory clothing and supplies, and trim the cats nails, etc.
- Adjust your pace and allow time to simply visit. Most elders in facilities are accustomed to a much slower pace and won’t appreciate feeling rushed. They’ll appreciate your time and company more than anything else! I pulled out a couple of photo albums and we had a great time looking at pictures.
- Bring a special gift (if allowed). I brought my folks an Alaska-themed mask each, as well as books I knew they’d like. Even though I send them packages regularly, the hand-delivered gifts were most appreciated!
- Be sure to check in with facility staff while there and show your appreciation! I’m so grateful for the wonderful staff! From prior visits, I know many of them by name and have spoken with them on the phone when I couldn’t visit. It’s good to touch base while you’re there and let them know they’re valued.
I wish you a wonderful visit
I hope that you’re able to spend time with your loved ones. This year more than any other has been a difficult one for those of us navigating life with aging parents, particularly those in facilities.
Drop a comment below if you have additional ideas or suggestions!
These are great tips, Elaine. I especially like that you suggest checking in with the staff. So many of the facility staff have become surrogate family to our loved ones over the last year and have gone the extra mile to help “normalize” an anything but normal year. They are definitely appreciated!
Hi Jen! Yes, the staff are definitely the lifeblood of facilities, and certainly for our loved ones! I am so very grateful for the director, the nurse, the medical aides, the caregivers, and even the housekeepers / cleaning staff! In addition to personal thanks and written notes, many facilities have staff funds that are used for team building, staff appreciation, etc. This is another great way to give back to the community of caregivers!