Unfortunately what many of us discover in midlife is that we’re over-committed, over-functioning and over-burdened by so much that feels essential in our lives. But if we’re buried in responsibilities and burnt out, we’re not living our BEST life.

What’s missing? If you’re wondering when (or if) you’ll get to fullfill the dreams of your younger self, it’s possible you’re simply living a life. And just maybe, the life you’re living isn’t your best life, the one that’s part of your own unique design.

How do know if you’re living your best life?

Maybe it’s easier to know if you’re NOT living your best life. On the inside cover of his latest book, Effortless,* Author Greg McKeown describes the way that I was living, the way that I think many women in midlife live.

As high achievers, we’ve been conditioned to believe that the path to success is paved with relentless work. That if we want to overachieve, we have to overexert, overthink, and overdo. That if we aren’t perpetually exhausted, we’re not doing enough. But lately, working hard feels harder than ever. And the more depleted we get, the more effort it takes to make progress.”

Greg McKeown, Author of “Effortless”

Many of us are burnt out.

We’re not meant to live depleted

McKeown describes this way of living as “working twice as hard only to achieve half as much.” And he’s written two entire books about how to live a smarter, more fulfilled life.

I highly recommend both of his books: Essentialism and Effortless. To live our best lives, we need to be doing activities that are our very best activities, but we also need to do them with far less effort!

Living your best life isn’t easy

Living your best life, I’ve learned, requires discipline and a lot of practice. I’ve had to learn to honestly assess myself, to speak up, and to set boundaries.

Over the past several years, I’ve put a lot of work into reflecting on what’s most important to me, where my gifts (aka superpowers) lie, what’s mine to do and what I need to let go, and so much more.

“If we wait until we are old to recognize that matters most, there is little future left to change.”

Steve Leder, Author of “The Beauty of what remains”

I’m still learning. And, still practicing.

Your best life is a journey, not a destination

Living your best life is a daily practice of living your best moments. When you live each moment intentionally, your life unfolds to meet you where you are.

I’ve learned a lot and I’d love to help you along on your journey! Want to check it out risk-free? Sign up for a free introductory coaching session.

*Note: I occasionally provide links to books or other materials where as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

The post Living your (best) life appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Does repurposing bring up images of a visit to a thrift shop? Of picking up an old tray and taking it home to repaint and hang on your wall?

If you think of yourself as that old tray sitting on a shelf and collecting dust, you could feel like a failure. You could think of yourself as worn-out and useless. And, you might imagine yourself as not good enough, pretty enough, or suited to the original purpose.

Yet, I’ve begun to think of repurposing in a much different way as I navigate changes. I view repurposing as a necessary and ongoing process of renewing our minds! Let me explain.

We live in a changing world

As women, we often face changes that challenge our roles, threaten our sense of self, and push us off course. When faced with change, we push through, suck it up.

We’re accustomed to adapting and growing, wired for it in many ways. And yet, our society gives women mixed messages about who we are, who we should be and what we should be doing in life.

So often, we push ourselves, doing our best to do it all. And when we get stressed by the pressure we and others put on ourselves, we’re told to meditate, to exercise, eat healthier, relax.

And ultimately, we’re still trying to do it all

We read self-help books, strive and perfect, and if (when) we feel as though we’re failing, we reach for comfort in a variety of forms. We go shopping, meet girlfriends for a glass of wine that gets bigger and bigger, take a hot bath — and then we’re back in the game.

And we’re only now starting to realize that we’re not the only ones struggling. It’s not our fault that we don’t realize that others feel the same way. Our social media feeds are filled with pretty, happy and successful women in seemingly beautiful relationships, eating wholesome food with smiling families, and relaxing at the park.

We’ve been misinformed. And we ourselves perpetuate the misinformation by sharing only our best moments, the “highlight reel” of our lives.

We carry burdens we were never meant to carry

Sharing only the good and ignoring the challenging leaves us feeling empty, cast aside, less than others. Striving and numbing are temporary solutions.

And somewhere in there, we discover that we’re trying harder than we need to and carrying more than we’re able. We were not meant to carry these burdens alone — yet so often we try!

What if there’s a better way?

Where do we turn when we’ve finally had enough of ourselves? Eventually, many of us realize that we’re not relying fully on God.

Gerald May wrote in The Dark night of the Soul that, “We yearn to ‘let go and let God,’ but it usually doesn’t happen until we have exhausted our own efforts.”

Ouch. So often, I realize I am clutching onto the reins of my life instead of trusting in the God of the universe to carry the burden. And, I know I must let go.

What if the better way is a repurposed way?

In a sense, this letting go of our own efforts is a re-purposing, or returning again to our purpose in God. Repurposing is a transformation, a change of heart over time, becoming more tuned to God’s heart for our life and letting go of our own striving.

We will always fail if we’re trying to muscle through life on our own.

But as we let go of our own efforts and turn to God, we allow ourselves to be adapted to his purposes in our life. His purpose grounds us. His purpose gives us strength.

The repurposed way comes in whispers

A repurposed life is one listening for God’s whispers on our heart, returning us gently to his purpose for us again and again. As we cease striving and listen, he reveals his purpose for us in the roles that we play and the gifts that we cultivate.

The dictionary defines repurpose as adapting something for a different use. And indeed, that old tray now become a wall hanging is repurposed. But it was really never useless, just waiting to find its new purpose.

Each of us travels a journey of discovery.

Sometimes, a life changes dramatically in an instant. Others, change comes long and slow. Always, we need time to process this change, to transition from one way of being to another.

God calls us back to his purpose again and again

Always, God whispers into our hearts. As we navigate the changes in our life, we find new opportunities to listen.

Sometimes change is crushingly disappointing. We suffer unimaginable loss. We lose a job, a spouse, a child. A pandemic calls into question everything we took for granted. Children grow up and no longer seem to need us.

It can take time for us to adjust, to hear a fresh sense of his purpose.

Always, we find peace when we surrender our control and return to God’s purpose for us. This isn’t an easy process.

The repurposed way

If we think of our lives as set aside and useless, we miss the bigger picture. We are strong only when we’re surrendered and weak, right where we are supposed to be, in the middle of God’s purpose. We have to be repurposed to be holy and part of God’s plan. Revisiting God’s purpose for us again and again helps us stand firm in our calling, for this moment.

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”

Philippians 2:13 (NIV)

And tomorrow? We wait and listen, allowing ourselves to be repurposed again.

The post The repurposed way appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.