In fact, few of us readily admit that we are in midlife or “middle aged.” Our culture favors the young and the strong. And we rarely see getting older as an advantage.

But middle age is an important development milestone for human beings. And it’s worth exploring when it begins so that we can effectively navigate this middle adulthood phase.

Can we define middle age numerically?

While middle age seems like it could be a numeric calculation, even age isn’t a definitive measure. The average life expectancy in the United States is currently 77.8 years. Females have a longer life expectancy, 80.5 years, on average outliving males by five years.

So in the U.S., the numeric midpoint for a person’s life span is between 37 and 40. But is that the starting point for middle age? Even ages 37-40 seems low by most accounts. While some reports say that adults begin entering middle age by 35, others default to 45 or even 50.

If not a set point, is there a date range?

We seem to have a problem with defining midlife and middle age. Merriam Webster defines midlife with just two words: middle age. Search middle age and you get, “The period of life from about 45 to about 64.” — Merriam-webster.com

Google takes it a step further and defines it as “the central period of a person’s life, generally considered as the years from about 45 to 55.” Psychology Today defines midlife as “the central period of a person’s life, spanning from approximately age 40 to age 65.”

It’s clear that middle age isn’t “just a number”

Middle age and midlife are terms that generate discussion, avoidance and dispute. But in the end, there are a few key points to help us better understand when middle age begins:

• “Middle age is the period in your life when you are no longer young but have not yet become old. Middle age is usually considered to take place between the ages of 40 and 60.” — Collinsdictionary.com
• A Chicago Tribune column written more than 35 years ago asked: When does a person reach middle age? After surveying readers, he received answers varying between 30 and 50 — and concluded that perhaps one day, though not likely, “It may become cool to be middle-aged.”
• Psychology Today writes, “Midlife or middle age is that transitional period of life between young adulthood and old age.” 
• Gail Sheehy, best-selling author of Passages, The Silent Passage, and New Passages, wrote in her author’s note at the beginning of New Passages: “The first glimpses of a midlife perspective usually begin to startle us in the middle of our thirties. Time starts to pinch.” She goes on to talk about the death of First Adulthood and the transition into Second Adulthood, defining it as a search for meaning.
• Some experts define it more as a state of mind. A Huffpost article highlights a study indicating that midlife begins somewhere near 35 and ends around 50 — and lists 25 Surefire Signs You’ve Finally Hit Middle Age.

Perhaps middle age begins when we say it does

Middle aged jokes aside, perhaps middle age begins for us when our mindset shifts. When we’re ready to admit that we’re no longer young –but we’re not yet old. When we begin to acknowledge numbered days and wonder what we will do with the rest of our one good life.

And perhaps middle age begins when we’re ready to think about what our epitaph will say or how our eulogy will read. Or, when we reach a point where we’re more interested in the life in our days than the days in our lives.

When does middle age begin?

Perhaps it’s less about when middle age begins and it’s more about how we spend these middle adulthood years! Think of middle age as an important transition, one in which we switch to living life more intentionally.

Think of it as a time when you can make dramatic changes in your life and habits. And when you can take care of your body, soul and mind so that you have room for greater experiences and contributions to the world.

Middle age means less time to waste

“No matter how you tell yourself
It’s what we all go through
Those lines are pretty hard to take
When they’re staring back at you
Oh, scared you’ll run out of time
When did the choices get so hard
With so much more at stake
Life gets mighty precious
When there’s less of it to waste”

― Bonnie Raitt, Nick of Time

If you’re noticing that you’re more in the middle age bucket than the young one, you’ll find lots of resources here on this website. Here are a few to get you started!

• Life is in the transitions
• What’s my role in the middle?
• Are you having a midlife crisis?

Plus, if you’d like a little help to work through the transition, I offer coaching and mentoring to help you deal with shifting roles, face unexpected challenges, and navigate toward fulfilling your dreams.

The post When does middle age begin? appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

First, let’s set something straight. How do we define midlife? Psychology Today defines midlife as the period spanning from approximately age 40 to age 65. But each of us is different and really midlife can be anywhere in the middle stages of your life. We’re not counting ages here — if you have any of the above feelings and want a time out — join in the fun!

Why should I consider a timeout?

Midlife can be hard, especially for women who are often caregivers. At this point in our life, we often have many demands on our time and energy. And typically, we’ve had some changes and challenges, frequently occurring without warning and often having significant impacts on our lives.

In addition to the demands society places on us, and the numerous changes and challenges that strike us, Psychology today says:

“It (midlife) can be a stressful time, as many people come to feel discontented and restless as they struggle with aging, mortality, and holding onto a sense of purpose.

Psychology Today, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/midlife

Now is a good time for a little soul searching

To navigate midlife with simplicity, grace and wisdom, we benefit from stepping back to ask ourselves some important questions as we explore what it means to live our one life well. Gandhi said that “your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny.”

How easy it is for us to slip into patterns and habits if we miss the opportunity to chart our own course!

Jumpstart your midlife timeout

The easy way to jumpstart your midlife timeout is to begin by asking yourself questions about where you are now and where you’d like to be in life. I’ve created a simple jumpstart guide to get you started!

The Midlife Timeout Jumpstart Guide will take you through five simple steps to create an action plan for this next phase of your life. In just 30-60 minutes, you can begin to assess your strong points and areas of opportunity, how you are living versus how you would like to be living, and identify some steps you might take to reach your goals and fulfill your calling and purpose in life.

To live well, we must choose our destiny, in and among the “messy middle” circumstances that God has given us, and work toward our vision and God’s vision for our life every single moment.

May God give you the time and space you need to begin a Midlife Timeout journey. May you seek and find wisdom in this stage of your life, today!

The post Jump start your own midlife timeout appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Brown says, “The truth is that the midlife unraveling is a series of painful nudges strung together by low-grade anxiety and depression, quiet desperation, and an insidious loss of control.”

Each of us goes through a midlife unraveling in our own way.

Midlife can be messy

At this point of our lives, we think we should have it all under control. At some point, though, we realize we control very little.

Our kids begin to make decisions on their own. Our parents may need more help, but still have their own agendas.

We certainly can’t control our spouses or significant others’ life choices, although we may influence them. And sometimes we can’t even grasp control of our own decisions and lives at work, home, and in community.

We can get a bit lost

At this stage of life, we may feel trapped into commitments over which we have so little control.

At times in this messy middle, I feel like a tiny cork bubbling around in the big ocean, seemingly locked in to choices I’ve made, circumstances I face, or the needs of those around me.

Elaine Junge

And yet, as we start to unravel ourselves and the life around us, we can begin to uncover essential truths. We can choose to approach unraveling with intentionality and to take time out to observe and analyze, set a new course or or change our path.

Could you use a timeout?

Most of us can take a day off or squeeze in 15 minutes here and there. We can give ourselves the space to tackle this messy process of letting go of how we thought life would be and adapting to how we want to live the rest of our life.

Here’s how it works:

Here are 3 easy steps you can take this week to prepare for your own timeout:

1. Designate specific time in your life.

Schedule at least three one-hour blocks over the next three weeks to get started. Mark these times as sacred space on your calendar. Protect your time from interruptions and choose a place that fosters clear thinking.

2. Center yourself mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Give yourself extra time to be still, to walk in nature, take a warm bath or check in with God. Immerse yourself in what makes you “most you.” Picture yourself zooming out from your life and observing at a distance, with a non-biased view. Allow space for this to settle and simply notice and accept where you are, today.

3. Ask wise counselors to be your sounding boards.

Seek feedback from your spouse and other family members and also from people less dependent on the outcomes of your decisions. Reach out to a handful of inner circle friends, a therapist or a spiritual advisor and ask them to help guide you in this process. I suggest you keep the time commitment simple, such as coffee, lunch, or a planned phone call in the next few weeks.

You’ve laid the groundwork

In the coming weeks, we will dive into more specific steps to guide you in your personal midlife timeout. For now, remember:

Sometimes projects (and lives) need to unravel, so we can fix mistakes, make a better fit, or create a better final result.

Elaine junge

I pray blessings on you, that you may be brave and courageous. May you feel the stirring of change and dare to begin to reimagine yourself and your life. May you find time and space for a beautiful midlife timeout, and may you be open to unraveling, because the God who loves you wants you to live well your one good life.

The post Setting up a midlife timeout appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.