We know that changes will come, and mostly we expect them to be slow and gradual. We get so caught up in living the life we’ve chosen or that chose us and we just don’t notice how fast it’s all going. Nor do we pause to make the internal changes that are required to navigate the external ones.

We go through a lot of transitions in this messy middle of life.

Kids grow up

From the beginning, we know that the children we have will grow up. We just don’t realize it will happen so soon. I saw a reel on my Instagram feed today, one of those 15-30 second video creations, that showed a young mom holding a toddler and with a snap of the fingers, he was a teenager giving her a hug.

And size isn’t the half of it. Kids grow physically, yes, but they also grow mentally, spiritually, emotionally. Their in-between-ness gets caught up with our in-between-ness and it can be tricky sometimes. Not only did my 15 year old act like a two year old at times, but somehow it also brought out the toddler in ME.

Even our parents change

I began to realize my parents were aging in the years before I turned 40. I was finally getting my parenting legs under me, with kids that were “tweens.” And on my visits home, I realized my parents were changing. They no longer had kids at home. My younger brothers had moved on, and mom and dad were adjusting to just each other at home.

And that adjustment didn’t go too well. They tried hard, but just couldn’t seem to reconnect after too many years of raising kids, making a living, keeping the house. The year I turned 40, they separated and then divorced.

Their divorce was a transition me as well

Realizing that your parents are not infallible was a big eye-opener. Perhaps I should have known this before. I certainly had many complaints with my parents as a teenager and yet I still fell into the slumber of predictability and routine.

Not to mention that this particular year also brought other big changes. We lost my sister-in-law, my husband began to talk of deploying with the Army Reserves in the after-math of 911, and we had a rocky year in our own marriage, working out issues that had built up over time.

We all grow and change over time

Change definitely shouldn’t surprise us and yet it does, time and again. We expect people around us to behave in a certain way, react predictably to unpredictable situations. And yet, over time, we learn that we can’t even always predict how we ourselves will react to these “opportunities for growth.”

I’m finding that we need to slow down, to name the changes and the emotions that come along with them. We have to intentionally Transition through change and Navigate unexpected events.

I’m learning that life is in the transitions

As I sit here writing this, huge mounds of snow block my view of the street outside my window. It’s early spring in Alaska, mid-March, the time of year when much of the United States no longer has snow. But here, we have several weeks of spring ahead.

We call this season “break-up,” a messy middle phase between spring and summer, a transitional time. The snow begins to melt, the sky drops rain or more snow, we never quite know which it will be. But gradually, a little at a time, the piles of snow pack and melt, pack and melt.

Like a flower beneath the snow, we’re growing

And one day, the tulips and daffodils that I planted so carefully into the soil all around the house last fall, will begin to poke up. These determined flowers push tiny stems up through patches of snow at first. They’re strong. They’ve gathered strength through the deep, dark winter.

And I know that you and I are just as strong. We’ve been through a season of change, will go through even more in the days ahead. Transitions ground us, test our resolve, and also force us to change, to become a different version of ourselves. How we process these changes defines who we become.

Life is in this transition too

You may be asking yourself, Do I even know who I am? and feeling like a Next phase lost soul. We all do this when we go through change! But, with a bit of work, you’ll become the person you want to be.

Life is in this transition, my friend. Like that beautiful tulip, you’ll forge up and through the messiness of the in-between. I know you will.

The post Life is in the transitions appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

She was full of life

My friend was young, not yet 50, yet the words that resonated most with me as we said goodbye were that hers was a life well lived. She had beautiful white hair, prematurely gray in her 20s — the kind of hair that caused strangers to stop her in the grocery store or on the street, not just occasionally but at least once a week. We would laugh about it, chuckling each time she came into work and said, “you’ll never guess what happened today,” with that beautiful, radiant smile, and a little giggle.

Debbie reminded many people of a Barbie doll, with her beautiful long hair, slender build and classic good looks. While her looks attracted comments and compliments, she refused the comparison, challenging others to get to know her more deeply. And she had so much depth. She was a designer, a creator, a gardener, a lover of life. She believed strongly — in God, people, and life in general. Her faith shone through in a caring and compassionate spirit that touched her family and friends through her craft, through kind notes and cards, through small acts of service in unexpected ways.

On living well

How did she live life so well? Hers is a shining example of living life simple and true:

Simplicity: a state or quality of being plain or not fancy or complicated; clear, straightforward, unpretentious.

True: being or reflecting the genuine character of something; correct, right, true to life, faithful, telling it like it is, fact-based, without deviation.

Saying goodbye

When we gathered to say our final goodbyes to our friend, it was in the most beautiful church I have ever seen. The church was so much like her, with strong foundations, simple lines and beautiful features. As friends and family shared stories of her life, this simple little church was bursting at the seams with all the love and sadness, joy and tears, strength and vulnerability.

We were not ready to say goodbye, yet we must. Life is, it just is and then it isn’t. Yet when you’re a Christian, steeped in faith, we believe there’s more to come. And we know that people matter, life matters, love matters.

God brings such comfort

God shines in all circumstances, but especially in helping us say Goodbye. Job well done, my friend. You are missed more than ever!

The post On living well and saying goodbye appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.