Unfortunately what many of us discover in midlife is that we’re over-committed, over-functioning and over-burdened by so much that feels essential in our lives. But if we’re buried in responsibilities and burnt out, we’re not living our BEST life.

What’s missing? If you’re wondering when (or if) you’ll get to fullfill the dreams of your younger self, it’s possible you’re simply living a life. And just maybe, the life you’re living isn’t your best life, the one that’s part of your own unique design.

How do know if you’re living your best life?

Maybe it’s easier to know if you’re NOT living your best life. On the inside cover of his latest book, Effortless,* Author Greg McKeown describes the way that I was living, the way that I think many women in midlife live.

As high achievers, we’ve been conditioned to believe that the path to success is paved with relentless work. That if we want to overachieve, we have to overexert, overthink, and overdo. That if we aren’t perpetually exhausted, we’re not doing enough. But lately, working hard feels harder than ever. And the more depleted we get, the more effort it takes to make progress.”

Greg McKeown, Author of “Effortless”

Many of us are burnt out.

We’re not meant to live depleted

McKeown describes this way of living as “working twice as hard only to achieve half as much.” And he’s written two entire books about how to live a smarter, more fulfilled life.

I highly recommend both of his books: Essentialism and Effortless. To live our best lives, we need to be doing activities that are our very best activities, but we also need to do them with far less effort!

Living your best life isn’t easy

Living your best life, I’ve learned, requires discipline and a lot of practice. I’ve had to learn to honestly assess myself, to speak up, and to set boundaries.

Over the past several years, I’ve put a lot of work into reflecting on what’s most important to me, where my gifts (aka superpowers) lie, what’s mine to do and what I need to let go, and so much more.

“If we wait until we are old to recognize that matters most, there is little future left to change.”

Steve Leder, Author of “The Beauty of what remains”

I’m still learning. And, still practicing.

Your best life is a journey, not a destination

Living your best life is a daily practice of living your best moments. When you live each moment intentionally, your life unfolds to meet you where you are.

I’ve learned a lot and I’d love to help you along on your journey! Want to check it out risk-free? Sign up for a free introductory coaching session.

*Note: I occasionally provide links to books or other materials where as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

The post Living your (best) life appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

I’m learning that living with discipline and intention is the way to living out your purpose in life. Perhaps you, like me, have lived too long thinking you needed to “find you purpose.” This just leads us to feeling like we are missing out on the big things in life while being overwhelmed with the daily acts of living.

But there’s a much different way. When we learn to be content living imperfectly in the moment, we can discover we are living out our purpose simply by leaning into who we are and what we’re called to do right now, today. We needn’t strive for the perfect path, perfect life — that’s an impossible task. It’s unnecessary pressure.

The alternative to pressure is to just BE

Simply be ourselves. Yourself. That crazy wonderful person that looks at you in the mirror every day. Yep, that one.

In my experience, that gal’s a hot mess most days. But you know what? I guarantee you the girl in your mirror has a great heart and a strong soul.

That woman in your mirror is on the battlefield day after day, taking on her own Goliath, watching out with a fierce heart for those she loves. She’s a Mama Bear and I wouldn’t dare to stand between her and a child or even a parent that needs help.

And yet, some days are hard.

Sometimes our messiness overwhelms us

When this picture was taken back in October, I’d just come from presenting my book proposal to an editor. I’d gotten a soft no, not yet, and my heart was wobbly and uncertain.

My glasses had turned dark in the bright sun and the photographer asked me to take them off. You have to understand I’ve worn glasses since I was 17. They’re part of my identity, who I am — right?! Turns out glasses are not my identity. Not. even. close.

And that “no” from an editor? It’s not my identity and it doesn’t define my purpose. Because (I’m learning) my purpose is to live out who I am with determination and intention. This still isn’t my favorite picture but it’s me, imperfect, among some beautiful flowers.

She may not be fancy but she’s fierce

You’re on your way to being your own unique masterpiece, to living out your purpose, with discipline and intention, day by day. One way to think about it is living the repurposed way.

I just finished reading Jordan Lee Dooley’s “Own Your Everyday.” Jordan is a gal after my own heart and her words brought much-needed fire to fuel my sense of purpose. I am an avid reader and books often are like flaming bushes pointing me to him and truths I need to hear.

And, I believe that this book was a much-needed message helping me better understand how to wrap up this series.

Control what you can with discipline and intention

“Instead of pouting about what you can’t control, learn to implement discipline and intentionality in things you can control.”

Jordan Lee Dooley, Own your everyday

Keep stepping forward imperfectly, friends. And may you hear God’s whispers on your soul, giving you strength and purpose for your everyday journey.

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She was full of life

My friend was young, not yet 50, yet the words that resonated most with me as we said goodbye were that hers was a life well lived. She had beautiful white hair, prematurely gray in her 20s — the kind of hair that caused strangers to stop her in the grocery store or on the street, not just occasionally but at least once a week. We would laugh about it, chuckling each time she came into work and said, “you’ll never guess what happened today,” with that beautiful, radiant smile, and a little giggle.

Debbie reminded many people of a Barbie doll, with her beautiful long hair, slender build and classic good looks. While her looks attracted comments and compliments, she refused the comparison, challenging others to get to know her more deeply. And she had so much depth. She was a designer, a creator, a gardener, a lover of life. She believed strongly — in God, people, and life in general. Her faith shone through in a caring and compassionate spirit that touched her family and friends through her craft, through kind notes and cards, through small acts of service in unexpected ways.

On living well

How did she live life so well? Hers is a shining example of living life simple and true:

Simplicity: a state or quality of being plain or not fancy or complicated; clear, straightforward, unpretentious.

True: being or reflecting the genuine character of something; correct, right, true to life, faithful, telling it like it is, fact-based, without deviation.

Saying goodbye

When we gathered to say our final goodbyes to our friend, it was in the most beautiful church I have ever seen. The church was so much like her, with strong foundations, simple lines and beautiful features. As friends and family shared stories of her life, this simple little church was bursting at the seams with all the love and sadness, joy and tears, strength and vulnerability.

We were not ready to say goodbye, yet we must. Life is, it just is and then it isn’t. Yet when you’re a Christian, steeped in faith, we believe there’s more to come. And we know that people matter, life matters, love matters.

God brings such comfort

God shines in all circumstances, but especially in helping us say Goodbye. Job well done, my friend. You are missed more than ever!

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