Unfortunately what many of us discover in midlife is that we’re over-committed, over-functioning and over-burdened by so much that feels essential in our lives. But if we’re buried in responsibilities and burnt out, we’re not living our BEST life.

What’s missing? If you’re wondering when (or if) you’ll get to fullfill the dreams of your younger self, it’s possible you’re simply living a life. And just maybe, the life you’re living isn’t your best life, the one that’s part of your own unique design.

How do know if you’re living your best life?

Maybe it’s easier to know if you’re NOT living your best life. On the inside cover of his latest book, Effortless,* Author Greg McKeown describes the way that I was living, the way that I think many women in midlife live.

As high achievers, we’ve been conditioned to believe that the path to success is paved with relentless work. That if we want to overachieve, we have to overexert, overthink, and overdo. That if we aren’t perpetually exhausted, we’re not doing enough. But lately, working hard feels harder than ever. And the more depleted we get, the more effort it takes to make progress.”

Greg McKeown, Author of “Effortless”

Many of us are burnt out.

We’re not meant to live depleted

McKeown describes this way of living as “working twice as hard only to achieve half as much.” And he’s written two entire books about how to live a smarter, more fulfilled life.

I highly recommend both of his books: Essentialism and Effortless. To live our best lives, we need to be doing activities that are our very best activities, but we also need to do them with far less effort!

Living your best life isn’t easy

Living your best life, I’ve learned, requires discipline and a lot of practice. I’ve had to learn to honestly assess myself, to speak up, and to set boundaries.

Over the past several years, I’ve put a lot of work into reflecting on what’s most important to me, where my gifts (aka superpowers) lie, what’s mine to do and what I need to let go, and so much more.

“If we wait until we are old to recognize that matters most, there is little future left to change.”

Steve Leder, Author of “The Beauty of what remains”

I’m still learning. And, still practicing.

Your best life is a journey, not a destination

Living your best life is a daily practice of living your best moments. When you live each moment intentionally, your life unfolds to meet you where you are.

I’ve learned a lot and I’d love to help you along on your journey! Want to check it out risk-free? Sign up for a free introductory coaching session.

*Note: I occasionally provide links to books or other materials where as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

The post Living your (best) life appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Brown says, “The truth is that the midlife unraveling is a series of painful nudges strung together by low-grade anxiety and depression, quiet desperation, and an insidious loss of control.”

Each of us goes through a midlife unraveling in our own way.

Midlife can be messy

At this point of our lives, we think we should have it all under control. At some point, though, we realize we control very little.

Our kids begin to make decisions on their own. Our parents may need more help, but still have their own agendas.

We certainly can’t control our spouses or significant others’ life choices, although we may influence them. And sometimes we can’t even grasp control of our own decisions and lives at work, home, and in community.

We can get a bit lost

At this stage of life, we may feel trapped into commitments over which we have so little control.

At times in this messy middle, I feel like a tiny cork bubbling around in the big ocean, seemingly locked in to choices I’ve made, circumstances I face, or the needs of those around me.

Elaine Junge

And yet, as we start to unravel ourselves and the life around us, we can begin to uncover essential truths. We can choose to approach unraveling with intentionality and to take time out to observe and analyze, set a new course or or change our path.

Could you use a timeout?

Most of us can take a day off or squeeze in 15 minutes here and there. We can give ourselves the space to tackle this messy process of letting go of how we thought life would be and adapting to how we want to live the rest of our life.

Here’s how it works:

Here are 3 easy steps you can take this week to prepare for your own timeout:

1. Designate specific time in your life.

Schedule at least three one-hour blocks over the next three weeks to get started. Mark these times as sacred space on your calendar. Protect your time from interruptions and choose a place that fosters clear thinking.

2. Center yourself mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Give yourself extra time to be still, to walk in nature, take a warm bath or check in with God. Immerse yourself in what makes you “most you.” Picture yourself zooming out from your life and observing at a distance, with a non-biased view. Allow space for this to settle and simply notice and accept where you are, today.

3. Ask wise counselors to be your sounding boards.

Seek feedback from your spouse and other family members and also from people less dependent on the outcomes of your decisions. Reach out to a handful of inner circle friends, a therapist or a spiritual advisor and ask them to help guide you in this process. I suggest you keep the time commitment simple, such as coffee, lunch, or a planned phone call in the next few weeks.

You’ve laid the groundwork

In the coming weeks, we will dive into more specific steps to guide you in your personal midlife timeout. For now, remember:

Sometimes projects (and lives) need to unravel, so we can fix mistakes, make a better fit, or create a better final result.

Elaine junge

I pray blessings on you, that you may be brave and courageous. May you feel the stirring of change and dare to begin to reimagine yourself and your life. May you find time and space for a beautiful midlife timeout, and may you be open to unraveling, because the God who loves you wants you to live well your one good life.

The post Setting up a midlife timeout appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.