In times of change, we often experience difficult circumstances. Most of us want to recover quickly, but often we don’t understand how.

Resilience takes practice

First, we need to understand that resilience takes practice. We practice as we navigate the changing seasons of our lives.

“The good news is resilience can be learned. It involves developing thoughts, behaviors, and actions that allow you to recover from traumatic or stressful events in life.”

positivepsychology.com

We can develop our resilience by practicing the thoughts and behaviors that will help us recover from stressful events. Change is a constant and most of us will have countless opportunities to practice resilience in our lifetimes.

Characteristics of resiliency

Much resiliency research has been done in clinical settings, to help psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers treat conditions such as PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). One of the leading measures of resiliency is the Connor-Davidson Resilience Scale.

Researchers Kathryn M. Connor and Jonathan R.T. Davidson identified several components of resilience, including the ability to:

• Adapt to change
• Deal with what comes along
• Cope with stress
• Stay focused and think clearly
• Not get discouraged in the face of failure
• Handle unpleasant feelings such as anger, pain or sadness.

Resilient people view change as a challenge

A resilient person understands that change is inevitable and that it can be an opportunity as well as a challenge. She recognizes that she has limited control and controls what she can.

A resilient person recognizes that she has choices, if not in her circumstances at least in how she handles her reactions to them. She knows when to engage the support of others.

A resilient person is action-oriented and looks for a way forward when she encounters obstacles. She is patient and optimistic, and has a sense of humor. And she balances her own goals with those of her family and community.

A resilient person has faith. She has faith in herself, in the world, and in God.

How do we cultivate resilience?

We cultivate resilience by practicing how we view change. And, we stay positive and optimistic; relying on our faith and reaching out to others when we need help.

Above all, we stay flexible and observant, both of our own inner lives and the circumstances around us. When we slow down and pay attention, we have the opportunity to better process the changes and develop positive plans for moving forward.

Resilience has its own payoffs

And the more we practice, the more resilient we become. Resilient people handle stress much better than those who aren’t resilient. So, when you cultivate resilience, you’re helping yourself navigate change more easily.

You’re giving yourself the gifts of better mental health, lower stress levels, and a renewed sense of purpose in your life. And that’s all good!

The post Cultivate resilience appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Navigating life change in general often feels much like the lake, like swirling in a mist. And somehow navigating change during a pandemic feels even more “swirly.”

The winds of change are big and small

This year, I’m holding space for many changes in my life. I’m experiencing major life changes, including losing my father, a daughter’s wedding, the other daughter buying a home, and my husband and I buying the cabin that sits on this beautiful lake.

And, like everyone else in the world, I’m living with a pandemic that brings so many big and little changes to our lives. I’m traveling way less, doing more virtually, socializing with friends in different ways — and wearing a mask everywhere I go.

So how does this relate to the lake?

Bear with a little science. Weather experts tell us that the fall lake mist is a fog, essentially a cloud made up of tiny liquid water droplets. This steam fog forms when cold air comes across the warmer lake water, evaporating into the air above the surface and forming fog.

The beautiful lake mist transforms into movement with turbulence created by the formation process and local winds. The wind swirls and moves the fog, creating an ever-changing panorama.

Similarly, winds of change refine us

The lake fog reminds me of life, constantly swirling. We live with change always, but 2020 … so much change! The turbulence of our communities, our country, even our world, makes it difficult to maintain the shape of our lives, to find our footing.

As with the lake, sometimes we can hardly distinguish the life we used to know, now obscured by the swirling mists of change! During seasons of change, while the wind seemingly swirls around us, we can learn much by observing the winds of change on a lake.

What strategies can we learn from the lake?

The lake and its changing mist have much to teach us.

• First, we can maintain our basic shape. Like the lake, my life’s still here, solid underneath. While at times, I can hardly see the lake, or my life, for the swirls of change, the basic shape remains, still there. My feet are on the ground, I’m breathing air and I’m connected to my people.
• The swirl doesn’t (have to) consume us. While technically some droplets of the lake do become part of the mist, much of the condensation actually returns to the lake. Winds of change often transform, as the season naturally brings freezing ice to a lake in the fall.
• We can change our form without compromising our value. A lake is still a lake no matter if the water’s warm, cool, or ice. The basic properties of the lake are unchanging, yet transformed to a new look and feel. Similarly, we can adapt and grow, staying true to ourselves.
• Some of what leaves often returns, though it might not be exactly the same. The migratory birds pack up and leave, but you can bet they’ll be back in the spring. Baby birds will have separated from their parents, finding their own mates. And sometimes a new pair replaces an older one. We’ll find new rhythms, do many of the same things, though our patterns may change.
• We can be a safe haven for others during times of change. The lake is an ecosystem, an interconnected web of life in and around it. Similarly, we need each other, particularly in times of change. When our world feels different, looks different, is in fact different, we need the firm footing of connection to others. And others need us to be a haven of comfort and encouragement.

And ultimately, our lives are but winds of change

It’s always good to keep life in perspective. Ultimately, these winds of change are a small part of our lives. James 4:14 says, “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes (NIV).

But the wind can make a difference. And so can we.

The post Winds of change appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

“We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are.”     

Anonymous

The rain strengthens growth, though darker in the moment, soon the earth responds. The colors become deeper, the soil smells sweeter, and one can practically feel the energy building. As I watch raindrops falling on the bleeding hearts outside my studio window, I notice the droplets pooling on the leaves. A gentle breeze lifts the tiny blossoms every so slightly and they sway with the effort yet stand strong.

Change happens whether we observe it or not

Deep within the plants, cells are multiplying and growth is constant yet for the most part, unobserved. I am learning to notice its presence, in the plants and in my life. A week ago, I felt off kilter, on the verge of cranky, almost without warning. I was impatient, anxious for change, overwhelmed by tasks I felt needed to be done on some schedule. In reality, I was adjusting to a new season, feeling the rain and the winds of change without understanding them.

I’d stepped away from who I was, what I needed

All too often, I get caught up in what is going on around me and forget to just be. I forget that while the raindrops are falling and the wind is gently blowing, my cells are growing like those in a plant on a spring day. Change is happening in me. God is doing what God does and working whether I see him or I don’t. And I needn’t understand it, I can just rest in who I am, right now, this moment.

As with the plants, change will come. And one day I will wake up and realize that I’ve grown. Right now, I’ll just appreciate the raindrops. I know that the drops are feeding my soul in all the right places.

Can you lean into your own season of change?

No matter what challenges you face today, I hope that you can pause for a moment to notice what is happening in your life. Whether you know it or not, you are changing and growing.

Here are 3 things you can do to embrace change:

1. Be mindful of the beauty around you. Notice your surroundings and pay attention to how they are changing. Is the wind blowing? Do you notice raindrops? Is the sun shining? What impact does this have on the plants and animals nearby?
2. Notice how you feel. What emotions are triggered in you? Are you happy? Sad? Anxious? Why?
3. Simply accept all of this information. You don’t need to DO anything in this moment. Breathe in and out, and be thankful for unseen growth.

You can’t become what you need to be, by remaining who you are — and so, lean into this season of growth.

I pray that you will find beauty and strength in the knowledge that you are growing and changing imperceptibly. May you find peace in this process, knowing that you needn’t have all of the answers today, or even tomorrow. God is guiding and directing the tiniest of details around you — and it’s good.

The post Transitions appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

With my unexpected gift of retirement from my job of 30+ years, I expected to sleep in more. But while I dread waking early and heading out the door at 6am, this morning walk has become a daily ritual, a time to connect with my husband, and a way to start the day with fresh air and exercise. Our two-mile walk allows us to slow down, connect with ourselves and our world, and observe the passing of our days and the seasons.

As we took our daily walk this morning it was a brisk 26 degrees. The sun was shining as we walked up the street and trampled through the woods, tossing a bright orange bumper for the yellow Labrador pup and watching the aging husky mix explore the far edge of the woods. Today, the sun is still hidden behind the mountains to the East, but the sky is brightening with the promise of longer days.

As I think about break-up this year, in the midst of my midlife timeout, I see many similarities between the world I walk in — and this midlife season. Perhaps you may also see ways that you can step back and learn from your changing seasons.

Is it time to “break up” with some things in your life? As I create new rhythms and settle in to notice the patterns, I realize that it’s time to let some things melt away so that I can make room for new. I no longer need to hold tight to some burdens I’ve been carrying, almost out of habit and without enough thought for if they’re still necessary. What activities or even mindsets are no longer necessary? What can you let go to make space in your life to allow room for these changes?

Do you need new, lighter gear? I’ve traded my heavy winter coat, boots, hat, scarf and gloves for lighter weight gear and layers to accommodate changing weather patterns. Likewise, as I move into a new season of life, I want to travel more lightly, be nimble and flexible so I can adjust to change. What steps can you take to create more flexibility in your life? What is holding you back or dragging you down in this season? How can you streamline your days to give yourself some breathing space?

Have you accumulated debris that clutters your mind and soul? Like the gravel on the road and the leaves and branches scattered around my yard, I notice I’ve accumulated a little clutter in my life. Look at your home, your yard, your schedule, with new eyes. Are there ways you can streamline or simplify? Can you remove unnecessary items? What is essential, true and important?

In short, this transition is about getting ready to adapt to what God has in store for you in the next season of your life!

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