Yes, I really do believe that the very hopes and dreams we have for our children drive so much of our desire to “help” by giving our advice! And so often, our children receive these types of comments as judgements on their character or critical of their choices. I love how you’ve described “holding our collective tongues,” meaning both us and our kids. I do think it can be easier over time!

Elaine, that’s exactly the source of so many attempts at boundary stretching/overstepping, on both sides, especially when the becoming is not what a parent had hoped. Even when it is (at least “on paper”), one or both parties will go “off script” now and again, causing friction. Holding our collective tongues is most useful then!