Not where I thought I’d be

Have you ever said, “I’m not where I thought I would be?” Some seasons of your life take you by complete surprise, no matter how you prepare or think you’re ready for them.

I always knew life would have twists and turns. But it wasn’t until recently that I realized most of my life has had me “not where I thought I’d be.” And I’ve learned a lot from those experiences!

Are you “not where you thought you’d be?”

If you’re like me, and life has you in a perpetual state of being “not where you thought you’d be,” I have good news and bad news. The bad news is: your life will likely have more twists and turns.

And the good news? You life will have more twists and turns AND you can navigate them. I promise you can do it and I’m here to help you!

We expect life to follow a certain trajectory.

And when life throws us off course, we naturally resist. We are surprised, perplexed. When in fact, life is ALL ABOUT CHANGE. If you look closely, we all detour from the “normal course.”

Has midlife thrown you off course? Mine did.

Midlife: a series of unexpected events

The year I turned 40, my life seemed to fall apart around me. My parents divorced, my sister-in-law passed away very unexpectedly, and it was if my husband and I suddenly woke up and discovered we were married to someone we didn’t know.

At the same time, my girls entered the “tween” confusing stage, no longer little children. And my job required more travel and grew increasingly complex.

I wasn’t where I thought I’d be but I muddled through the mess

These were tumultuous years, dissolving my straight path into curve after curve. With God’s grace and a resilient spirit, I took it a day at a time.

For every unexpected curve, God eventually brought a blessing:

• Chaotic remodeling projects beautified our home.
• Counseling helped us find our way back to each other.
• My husband’s 15 month deployment taught us new skills and habits.
• Our daughters’ fly, test, and repeat cycles bring increasing self-knowledge and independence.
• My parents’ increasing need for assistance gave me opportunities to spend time with them.

And 2020, need I say more? I’m definitely not where I thought I’d be

We kicked off our year with a trip to Southeast Asia in January/February. Yes, we hit the very epicenter and beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic.

The viral threat changed our itinerary. And for the first time in my life, I wore a mask. Little did we know masks would become a daily practice and wardrobe staple. Nor did we know this was the beginning of many cancelled events, virtual school and work, and social distancing.

We’re all coping, finding ways to connect and adapt.

And losing a parent so soon? Definitely not where I thought I’d be

With my father’s passing last month, I’m definitely not where I thought I would be. I expected more time with Dad. I expected 2020 to unfold much as 2019 did, seeing him gain strength and overcome medical issues — NOT decline.

And yet, we all eventually navigate this path of death in one way or another. I’m finding my way. And I am realizing that when we are not where we thought we’d be — we’re usually right where God wants us.

“When we’re not where we thought we’d be, we’re usually right where God wants us.”

Elaine Junge

God works in the spaces where we are off balance, uncertain. He thrives on our dependence. He values, even demands, our trust.

God is faithful all the time

When we recognize our need for him, we also see his provision. I believe our eyes are open to so much more when we’re relying on him to show us the way.

So, if you’re feeling off balance and not quite where you thought you’d be, sink into the promise. As the Psalmist says, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. (Psalm 56.3).

Dear ones, God is faithful especially when we’re not where we thought we’d be. May we rely on him more and more. May we seek and find his gracious provision for us in the middle of the mess.