Midlife women have grit & grace
Yes, I think Midlife women have grit and grace! Sandwiched in the middle of two, three or more generations, midlife women navigate their journey with the courage, grace and wisdom that comes from a lifetime of building character.
Grit: “courage and resolve; strength of character.”
The Oxford dictionary
Doing research for the Midlife Timeout blog this past week, I spoke with a number of women sandwiched in the middle of aging parents, young adult children and sometimes grand children. They affirmed that this midlife role can be both wonderfully full of meaning and deeply overwhelming at times.
These smart, resourceful and creative women were gracious in sharing their hearts with me. I’m beyond grateful for their insights! And I’d like to share a few common themes with you — because I think you are much like them.
Midlife women are smart & resourceful
We’re not just book smart. Although many of the women I interviewed had degrees and/or pursued interesting jobs and careers, they also expressed a strong curiosity about life. And they’ve accumulated decades of experience, knowledge and “know-how.”
Resourceful midlife women figure things out. We’re problem solvers, doers, fixers and finders. We face life with determination and we advocate and help loved ones with “mama bear” intensity.
Midlife women tackle what needs to be done
The women I spoke with faced daunting challenges navigating being an advocate and/or caring for aging parents and managing a home, being a wife, raising young adults, working full or part-time, or supporting a husband’s career. And not one of them backed down from what needed to be done. They epitomized the saying, “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.”
When crises arose, as they often do, these women stepped up and leaned in. For many of us, life heaps more and more on our plates. And we, somehow, through creative balancing perhaps, tackle the challenges that come our way.
Midlife women have caring hearts
Without question, women in the middle care for their families. We are wives, mothers and daughters — and we recognize that our caring helps those around us. We want to make a difference in the lives of those we love!
With our caring hearts, midlife women tend to play a stronger role in caring for aging family members than midlife men. Several of the women I spoke with were assisting their in-laws in addition to their own parents. And stepping into this role can be a complex landmine.
“Having an aging parent while still raising or supporting one’s own children presents certain challenges not faced by other adults—caregiving and financial and emotional support to name just a few.”
Pew Foundation
Midlife women need each other
Many of the women I spoke with had a strong circle of friends they relied on for support. Depending on our personality and life situations, we might have a small core of friends, or a large circle. Hopefully, we have at least one friend who shares our journey.
But sometimes, our inner circle isn’t experiencing midlife in quite the same way. Many of us feel alone in our struggle to juggle in this space. We each walk our own path at our own pace — and our children and parents change in different ways at different times.
My dream for the Midlife Timeout community is to connect us to a broader group of women sharing this journey. Women like those I interviewed, who are smart, capable and creative. Women like you, out there with your caring heart tackling what needs to be done.
Midlife women rely on their faith
So many times this past week, I heard women say that they didn’t know how to handle it all, but God was there for them. “I prayed constantly,” and “God opened a path” was a common refrain.
Best of all, many felt the support of other women in prayer for them. God worked through other caring hearts, fellow travelers, offering practical and soulful tips or a simple hug.
My dream for Midlife Timeout is to expand that network of faithful women!
Yes, midlife women have grit & grace
At this stage of life, things are put on our path we didn’t necessarily choose. We’ve tackled every challenge life has given us.
We’ve loved our people well. And we’ll keep on doing this as long as we breathe.
And, now it’s time for a little self-love
After years of caring for children and spouses, and now our aging parents, our purpose cannot just be being needed. It’s time to carve out space for ourselves, too.
“Maybe we’ve been given a finite amount of time to find that self-love, and midlife is the halfway mark. It’s time to let go of the shame and fear and embrace love. Time to fish or cut bait.”
Brene Brown, The Midlife Unraveling
In the midst of managing the roles we are given, midlife women are also finding space for themselves. They’re following that dream they always had, pursuing an art or passion, or simply taking a walk and learning to breathe again.
Sound good? We have one good and precious life — and midlife may finally be the time to figure it out. I hope you’ll continue with me on this journey!
