Get fierce about self care

I think you have to get fierce about self care when you’re in the middle of raising kids and stepping into caring for aging parents. The truth is you already have a lot of demands on your time. You’re pulled in many directions.

Having compassion on your self often seems selfish. People rely on you and you don’t want to let them down.

We tend to sabotage our own care

And so we say to ourselves, “self, I know you’re tired, but these people need me and in just a few minutes I’ll have time to take a break with you!”

Maybe you’ve said you will do something for yourself after you finish just one more thing? And then another and another? And then you put your weary self to bed saying you’ll take care of yourself tomorrow?

Haven’t we all been there? I’m slowing down enough to finally realize that today is the day I need to do whatever I am going to do. If I continue to say “tomorrow,” I continue to do what I’ve always done and postpone doing things that will keep me healthier and happier for a long time.

I’m learning that my children are old enough to take care of themselves (mostly). And my parents’ needs may be urgent from time to time — but I serve them better if I take care of myself, both short-term and long-term.

So how do you get fierce about self care?

First, experts say to remind yourself that self care is not a luxury — it’s a priority! Secondly, it’s almost impossible to manage stressors in your life without taking care of yourself. If you’re piling on exercise and still eating junk food, your body knows it. If you try to meditate, but aren’t getting enough sleep, you’ll fall asleep.

All of this leads to my third point, which is that fierce self care has to be a multi-faceted approach. Fierce self care means taking care of your body, mind and soul. And when you do, you build resilience to help you manage stressors in your life that you can’t eliminate — and equip yourself to live your best life.

Think of the acronym CARE

Connect — Connect with God, connect with hopeful encouragers. Connections fuel our souls!

Attitude — Mary Pipher writes in Women Rowing North, “Attitude, it’s not everything, but it’s almost everything.” You bring a positive attitude to others. You need it for yourself.

Rest — You must relax (challenging for doers). You may think you can’t stop, but remember the tortoise and the hare. Rested bodies and minds are resilient, creative and resourceful. And, if your mind is settled and not scattered, you can be present and listen better to others.

Empathy (for yourself) — you “feel” others, you know them. Do you know yourself? What do you need in this moment?

For additional ideas:

• Check out this blog post on Prioritizing your health. Key strategies include eating healthier, exercising more, using healthy alternatives to cope with stress (and reducing unhealthy coping mechanisms), and getting regular health check ups.
• When you list those that you care for in your day, remember to list your self as well!
• And finally, I love this quote:

“There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.”

Brian Andreas, American Writer

I’d love to hear what you are doing to prioritize your self in midlife! Are you ready to take fierce CARE of yourself?

May you be fiercely protective of yourself. May you connect with people, have a positive attitude, rest and relax often, and have empathy for yourself and others.