In Anchorage, flocks of ducks and geese gather on lawns and parks to feed and rest. The past two weekends, the swans have dropped in for a rest on our small lake, taking a break on their southbound flights.

As I watch these migrating birds, I consider the effort they put into flying hundreds, sometimes thousands of miles. It’s amazing how much energy they use!

Changing seasons require energy

They couldn’t complete their migrations without refueling. And just like them, we need refueling when we’re navigating big changes.

In the excitement (or sometimes dread) of change, we lose track of the energy it takes to navigate new territory.

Changes are hard on us emotionally, physically and mentally.

When change looms, it’s natural to dig in our heels and resist (which in its own right requires energy) or forge ahead enthusiastically. We tend to resort to working harder instead of pausing to refuel.

Rarely do we take the time to simply acknowledge that we’re going through a big change and give ourselves a break! It’s counterintuitive to slow down when it seems more effort is required.

We need time to process change

When we encounter change, we’re often doubly busy. We’re wrapping up what was and stepping into what’s to come. And both leaving and starting have their own set of emotions that we all too often ignore.

We’re often processing emotions on very many confusing levels. This is true even of positive changes, like watching our kids gain independence.

Becoming an empty-nester, for example, even in the best of circumstances, brings mixed emotions. We’re sad and happy that they’re stepping away from us, we’re excited and afraid. We’re nostalgic over the times we’ve had and worried we didn’t prepare them well enough. And, most of us don’t quite know what we’ll do with ourselves once they’re out the door.

Plus, it’s rarely a direct route to empty nest, especially during the pandemic. Many young adults “boomerang” in and out of the house for a period of time.

We need to refuel our hearts, minds and bodies

Refueling may look different for each of us. And it may look different for you in different seasons.

But whatever it looks like for you in this season, be sure to take the time you need. Pausing to refuel will give you energy for the rest of your journey!

Resources: Pause to refuel

• Try harder or live lighter?
• Building margins into your life
• Put yourself first
• Get fierce about self care
• Finding peace in the chaos
• We need buddies

The post Pause to refuel appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

I learned to build in margins to our schedules, to allow space for the unexpected. And this made life flow much smoother. When those unexpected challenges hit, we had space to adapt!

But even with an empty nest, I find I need to revisit this concept regularly.

Building in margins doesn’t come naturally

I’ve had to learn and relearn many times to give myself space to breathe. I’m naturally inclined to over-schedule, over-commit, and over-function.

I forget in the rush of doing, to simply BE. A few years ago, I found a small wooden sign, stenciled with the simple words, “Be still.” The sign sits on the windowsill in my writing studio, a gentle reminder as I settle into my work each day.

Our culture favors achievement

I recently revisited a book that inspired me when my daughters were little. And as I thought of midlife moms, I realized it resonates for us as individuals as well as moms.

“Ours is a society that places high value on achievement and acquisition. The subtle rewards of contemplation, quiet, and deep connection with another human being are held in low esteem, if they are recognized at all. As a result, mothers are constantly pulled in two directions: Can we negotiate the demands of our careers and the world at large, and meet our own emotional and physical needs — not to mention those of our children — at the same time? KATRINA KENISON, MITTEN STRINGS FOR GOD

Did you catch that last sentence? We have to place value on meeting our own emotional and physical needs. And too often, we simply ignore the small whispers of our bodies and souls.

Margin gives us time to meet our own needs

As Kenison went on to say, the question is, without contemplation and quiet, how do we focus on what’s important? And are we ever able to tune in to our own inner lives?

We need reflection and quiet time to calm the chatter of our minds so that we can discern and take care of our very selves.

Have you left margin for yourself?

Or are you in a season of overwhelm that comes from over-functioning, over-committing, and over-scheduling? If you’re there, it may be time to take a break so that you can discern what it is that you really need to lighten up your load.

If you think you’ve fallen into a longer-term pattern of “margin-less” living, maybe it’s time to get honest with yourself and re-think how you’d like to live lighter in this next phase of life.

Resources

I’m on a journey to build more margins into my life and I love sharing what I’ve learned. Here are a few resources to help you find your own breathing space and reset your rhythms and patterns of living:

1. A free Timeout Strategies Checklist
2. If you’re ready for a deeper dive, check out this blog post on Jump starting your own midlife timeout.
3. I offer a limited number of free 30 minute introductory coaching sessions!

The post Building margins into your life appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

I grew up with a little Sunday school song based on the acroynym JOY. The song lyrics are: “J is for Jesus for he takes first place. O is for others we meet face to face. Y is for you, in whatever you do — put yourself last and spell joy.”

It was a catchy tune and the lyrics stuck with me for years, coloring my view of self care. I’m not sure where this song originated but it seems to have disappeared; I haven’t been able to find it online. And honestly, I think that’s a good thing because while the concept seems good — it’s actually flawed.

Putting ourselves first isn’t selfish

In fact, the greatest commandment of all, according to Jesus, is to “Love the Lord God with all your heart, with all your soul, and all your mind.” And the second greatest commandment is to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39, NIV).

This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t think of others, but instead loving ourselves helps us love others.

Putting ourselves last causes burnout

We’re so attuned to the needs of others and often swirling emotions around us that we neglect ourselves. And all too often, carving out time just for ourselves gets lost among so many other competing priorities.

So many of us have unrealistic expectations of what we can or should accomplish in a day. We were told we could have it all — and misinterpreted this to mean that we should have it all, must do it all. We set high expectations for ourselves, strive and push in a million different directions.

If we always put ourselves on the back burner, we burn out. And when we burn out, we don’t do a very good job of loving others.

We have to start with loving ourselves so that we can do a good job of loving others, our neighbors.

Instead of last, how about putting yourself first?

So what would happen if we put ourselves first? What if we moved self care to the top of the “to do” list, not the very bottom.

I think it’s high time we get fierce about self care! In my 2020 get fierce about self care post, I recommended taking care of your body, mind and soul using the acronym CARE. Taking good care of ourselves involves the four key areas of connection, attitude, rest and empathy.

5 easy ways to put yourself first

1. Block time on your calendar for yourself.
2. Ensure you get what you need to be at your best (for instance, introverts refuel with solitude, extroverts refuel with people time).
3. Take CARE of yourself (Connect, foster a healthy Attitude, ensure you get Rest and show Empathy for yourself as well as others).
4. Tend to your physical health (check out this post on Prioritizing your health).
5. And most importantly, keep your commitment to yourself by honoring the time you’ve set aside!

And BTW, I still believe in JOY

But I now realize that taking care of ME gives me the strength and imagination to live my best life. And I trust that brings joy to God and my neighbors.

The post Put yourself first appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

I take a walk every morning with my husband, my best buddy. We start our day grounded, feet moving, air on our faces, with a view of the mountains. He’s more awake than I am most days. Waking up is, for me, a gradual process.

I noticed the empty buddy bench

On our walk this morning, I saw the buddy bench at our neighborhood school, sitting empty at the beginning of a new school year. I stopped, my heart caught in my throat. I paused because this bench is designed for the lonely, the left-out, the hurting child — and while it sits empty, somewhere a child needs a buddy.

In this strange pandemic back-to-school season, I’m reminded that we need buddies even more. And we need to look out for each other, be the buddy to others that may struggle in this season.

We need buddies in the day-to-day

My husband and I have walked this path near the elementary school for several years now, but more intentionally the past two years. We walk through the seasons together, through spring, summer, fall and winter.

Some days we have easy conversations, about the weather, the day’s work. We connect about our schedules, our hopes and dreams, our life.

On our daily walks, we discuss our kids, our parents, how we are feeling, and what we want out of the day. We talk about routine things, like what we need at the store or who’s “on dishes.”

Other days, the conversation can be difficult, tinged by bad feelings, unresolved tensions, sadness, or tough problems. Still, we walk. Still, we talk. And when the words come slow, or fast and angry, we listen.

We especially need buddies in transitions

Over more than 30 years of marriage, we’ve learned that we need to talk more in times of change or stress. We process better as a team, when we each have a voice, work through changing and sometimes challenging emotions, and listen to each other’s hearts.

This buddy walk is good for our souls. Through the walking and talking, we come back to what’s important, to each other.

We all need buddies to reach out

I’ve heard a familiar ring on social media and in many of my circles. Some days we’re doing okay and some days we need a friend to check in on us. All of us experience days where we struggle with this unfamiliar world.

But some of us struggle more than others. And if we had a virtual bench, you might see some of these people hanging out, hoping to connect:

• Health care workers: “We do this work because we care deeply, but we’re tired and worried.”
• Law enforcement officers: “We see firsthand the impact on families and the cultural unrest.”
• Musicians: “We hurt from not singing together, in person.”
• Elderly in assisted living or nursing homes: “We miss visitors and going out on field trips.”
• Teachers: “We want to make a difference in the lives of children but this learning situation is new and different, and we’re worried about the kids..”
• And students: “We miss our friends and getting away from this family we’re now with All. The. Time.”

Be the buddy you need(ed).

The local school buddy bench may be closed for a season, but you can still reach out to someone you think might need a friend. And just as importantly, you can raise your hand when you’re feeling lonely or left out, disappointed, hurt, even scared.

How can you create a virtual buddy bench? Get creative! One of the online organizations I belong to hosted an open meeting room in Zoom, a virtual bench of sorts called the Sofa Room.

Neighbors meet socially distanced in driveways or garages. Families and young people have tailgate parties to connect in a safe way. And, video and phone calls are ways to connect as well.

Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.

Woodrow T. Wilson, U.S. President (1913-1921, notably he served during the 1918 Flu Pandemic)

Take a moment to make someone smile today. I’m heading out now to catch up with a friend I haven’t seen in weeks, socially distanced, of course!

The post We need buddies appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Having compassion on your self often seems selfish. People rely on you and you don’t want to let them down.

We tend to sabotage our own care

And so we say to ourselves, “self, I know you’re tired, but these people need me and in just a few minutes I’ll have time to take a break with you!”

Maybe you’ve said you will do something for yourself after you finish just one more thing? And then another and another? And then you put your weary self to bed saying you’ll take care of yourself tomorrow?

Haven’t we all been there? I’m slowing down enough to finally realize that today is the day I need to do whatever I am going to do. If I continue to say “tomorrow,” I continue to do what I’ve always done and postpone doing things that will keep me healthier and happier for a long time.

I’m learning that my children are old enough to take care of themselves (mostly). And my parents’ needs may be urgent from time to time — but I serve them better if I take care of myself, both short-term and long-term.

So how do you get fierce about self care?

First, experts say to remind yourself that self care is not a luxury — it’s a priority! Secondly, it’s almost impossible to manage stressors in your life without taking care of yourself. If you’re piling on exercise and still eating junk food, your body knows it. If you try to meditate, but aren’t getting enough sleep, you’ll fall asleep.

All of this leads to my third point, which is that fierce self care has to be a multi-faceted approach. Fierce self care means taking care of your body, mind and soul. And when you do, you build resilience to help you manage stressors in your life that you can’t eliminate — and equip yourself to live your best life.

Think of the acronym CARE

Connect — Connect with God, connect with hopeful encouragers. Connections fuel our souls!

Attitude — Mary Pipher writes in Women Rowing North, “Attitude, it’s not everything, but it’s almost everything.” You bring a positive attitude to others. You need it for yourself.

Rest — You must relax (challenging for doers). You may think you can’t stop, but remember the tortoise and the hare. Rested bodies and minds are resilient, creative and resourceful. And, if your mind is settled and not scattered, you can be present and listen better to others.

Empathy (for yourself) — you “feel” others, you know them. Do you know yourself? What do you need in this moment?

For additional ideas:

• Check out this blog post on Prioritizing your health. Key strategies include eating healthier, exercising more, using healthy alternatives to cope with stress (and reducing unhealthy coping mechanisms), and getting regular health check ups.
• When you list those that you care for in your day, remember to list your self as well!
• And finally, I love this quote:

“There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.”

Brian Andreas, American Writer

I’d love to hear what you are doing to prioritize your self in midlife! Are you ready to take fierce CARE of yourself?

May you be fiercely protective of yourself. May you connect with people, have a positive attitude, rest and relax often, and have empathy for yourself and others.

The post Get fierce about self care appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

I felt scattered and untethered, unable to focus. I needed to be STILL, to quiet my thoughts and the world around me.

What do you do when you need space?

Often, I head for the mountains or water. One or the other usually does the trick. Throw in beautiful scenery, the sounds of birds or moving water, and a nice breeze — and I’m almost assured to settle back into my bones.

Today was no different. I drove as high as you can get in Anchorage, up to the Chugach State Park, just below Flattop Mountain. From there, I could see Anchorage laid out below me from north to south, and east to west. Across Cook Inlet Sleeping Lady was visible through scattered showers. And Flattop itself was majestic with the clouds billowing behind it.

Slowing down felt like a luxury

And yet a timeout was so necessary for me to find my footing today. I left plenty undone — but I feel better. I didn’t solve the world’s problems and the neighborhood is still noisy — but my soul is quieter.

Two and a half months ago, I left my parents in Oregon as the pandemic took its hold. I took a similar timeout then, hiking up Barnes Butte in Central Oregon. That day, I was also struggling with so many concerns and worries that I couldn’t solve.

We have to break free of the noise

I need these breaks to let God whisper in my heart, remind me that He has a plan. He has the details, so I can let them go. I’m not the God of the Universe, but I know Him!

Yes, the world feels chaotic and unjust actions taint it further. I’m reminded of how Jesus wept over Jerusalem, saying “How I wish today that you of all people would understand the way to peace.” (Luke 19:41)

We find peace first in our hearts

We can and must find peace especially when the world seems chaotic. We must do our part to help create peace and fairness in this world. We need to speak up when someone does wrong, be a voice for the unheard, and champion those who need our help.

And sometimes we need to hear God speak into our hearts to understand just what we can and should do on a given day. At the end of the day, our job is to focus on our lane, the part assigned specifically to us.

Today was one of those days for me. I don’t have all the answers after my walk, but I do have peace in his purpose, hope in his promises, and strength for a new day.

May you take time to still your heart when the world feels chaotic. May you find rest and renewal in God’s purpose. And may you have peace in his purpose, hope in his promises, and strength for each day.

The post Finding peace in the chaos appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Grit: “courage and resolve; strength of character.”

The Oxford dictionary

Doing research for the Midlife Timeout blog this past week, I spoke with a number of women sandwiched in the middle of aging parents, young adult children and sometimes grand children. They affirmed that this midlife role can be both wonderfully full of meaning and deeply overwhelming at times.

These smart, resourceful and creative women were gracious in sharing their hearts with me. I’m beyond grateful for their insights! And I’d like to share a few common themes with you — because I think you are much like them. 

Midlife women are smart & resourceful

We’re not just book smart. Although many of the women I interviewed had degrees and/or pursued interesting jobs and careers, they also expressed a strong curiosity about life. And they’ve accumulated decades of experience, knowledge and “know-how.”

Resourceful midlife women figure things out. We’re problem solvers, doers, fixers and finders. We face life with determination and we advocate and help loved ones with “mama bear” intensity.

Midlife women tackle what needs to be done

The women I spoke with faced daunting challenges navigating being an advocate and/or caring for aging parents and managing a home, being a wife, raising young adults, working full or part-time, or supporting a husband’s career. And not one of them backed down from what needed to be done. They epitomized the saying, “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

When crises arose, as they often do, these women stepped up and leaned in. For many of us, life heaps more and more on our plates. And we, somehow, through creative balancing perhaps, tackle the challenges that come our way.

Midlife women have caring hearts

Without question, women in the middle care for their families. We are wives, mothers and daughters — and we recognize that our caring helps those around us. We want to make a difference in the lives of those we love!

With our caring hearts, midlife women tend to play a stronger role in caring for aging family members than midlife men. Several of the women I spoke with were assisting their in-laws in addition to their own parents. And stepping into this role can be a complex landmine.

“Having an aging parent while still raising or supporting one’s own children presents certain challenges not faced by other adults—caregiving and financial and emotional support to name just a few.”

Pew Foundation

Midlife women need each other

Many of the women I spoke with had a strong circle of friends they relied on for support. Depending on our personality and life situations, we might have a small core of friends, or a large circle. Hopefully, we have at least one friend who shares our journey.

But sometimes, our inner circle isn’t experiencing midlife in quite the same way. Many of us feel alone in our struggle to juggle in this space. We each walk our own path at our own pace — and our children and parents change in different ways at different times.

My dream for the Midlife Timeout community is to connect us to a broader group of women sharing this journey. Women like those I interviewed, who are smart, capable and creative. Women like you, out there with your caring heart tackling what needs to be done.

Midlife women rely on their faith

So many times this past week, I heard women say that they didn’t know how to handle it all, but God was there for them. “I prayed constantly,” and “God opened a path” was a common refrain.

Best of all, many felt the support of other women in prayer for them. God worked through other caring hearts, fellow travelers, offering practical and soulful tips or a simple hug.

My dream for Midlife Timeout is to expand that network of faithful women!

Yes, midlife women have grit & grace

At this stage of life, things are put on our path we didn’t necessarily choose. We’ve tackled every challenge life has given us.

We’ve loved our people well. And we’ll keep on doing this as long as we breathe.

And, now it’s time for a little self-love

After years of caring for children and spouses, and now our aging parents, our purpose cannot just be being needed. It’s time to carve out space for ourselves, too.

“Maybe we’ve been given a finite amount of time to find that self-love, and midlife is the halfway mark. It’s time to let go of the shame and fear and embrace love. Time to fish or cut bait.”

Brene Brown, The Midlife Unraveling

In the midst of managing the roles we are given, midlife women are also finding space for themselves. They’re following that dream they always had, pursuing an art or passion, or simply taking a walk and learning to breathe again.

Sound good? We have one good and precious life — and midlife may finally be the time to figure it out. I hope you’ll continue with me on this journey!

The post Midlife women have grit & grace appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Across the nation, many states are ever-so-slightly loosening restrictions and opening up our local businesses. My soul beats hopeful, optimistic — and a bit cautious.

We can’t rush this

Are you, like me, grateful for a new month and a bit of springtime hope? And yet, we can’t rush this.

We can’t rush this virus, experts say. We must step lightly and easily into this new season.

We can’t rush spring time either, especially here in Alaska.

And we certainly can’t rush soul space.

And so, like many, I will take it slow.

Spring in Alaska slow

Let’s let spring time, or summer if you’re in warmer climates, unfold at its own pace. Here, spring comes in slow waves across March, April and finally, May. It’s okay to grasp at each tiny sign, grateful for snow receding then disappearing, a brave plant poking out through snow and mulch, first buds on trees, then larger ones. Naming and noticing change helps us appreciate slow growth.

Change comes in the small details. In Alaska, Alaska Native elders and pioneer sourdoughs say you can safely plant outside when the birch leaves reach the size of squirrel ears. I watch the squirrel jump wildly from tree to tree in our back yard, never coming close enough for me to measure his dainty ears. Yet, by my estimates and knowledge of prior years, we have 2-3 weeks of frost risk.

And pandemic recovery slow

Smarter minds than mine are monitoring trends nationally and internationally. We don’t want to get over-optimistic and set our plants out too early in the spring, freezing them. Similarly, moving about too quickly or too many places in our communities brings COVID-19 exposure risk. Let’s allow the recovery to move at the pace that it takes.

Sometimes the pandemic seems so very far away from what we experience and yet it may strike close to home at any moment. And like that wild squirrel’s ears, we have a hard time measuring when it’s safe out there. We deal with an unseen and elusive virus. And we have information and mis-information overload. We have to continue to move slowly, making smart personal choices as our government re-opens society so we protect those most at risk.

And soul change slow

Oh my goodness, the soul can move slowly here in midlife, in a worldwide pandemic. Or so it seems when we live life, taking care of all of the things we do as women caregivers. A gal’s soul can feel unnoticed and unappreciated.

Can I just point out a few things for those days when your soul is tired? Like those tiny spring milestones, your soul grows and changes. You may find a glimmer of hope in little ways you give yourself the soul space you need.

• Perhaps you took a five-minute break today to just sit still.
• Or maybe you reached out to a friend for a chat.
• Did you face your feelings, refuse to numb with more work or an unnecessary glass of wine?
• Did you choose instead to go for a walk, smell a flower, feel the breeze?

You’re making progress my friend!

Good Things:

I’m excited to begin to share links to things I run across that will make you smile, inspire you, or simply make your life easier or better.

• Teacher Appreciation Week is coming! As schools wind down in the next few weeks, my friend Rachel Pearl VanEtten gives us three great reasons to recognize early childhood teachers!
• Thinking about cutting back on wine or alcohol? I signed up for a Sober Sis 21-Day Reset Challenge with the Sober Sis community. I’ve switched out my red wine for alcohol-free “mocktails” that taste great and are much healthier! This is a lifestyle community, with tools to help you drink less or not at all. Super supportive, not judgmental, no pressure to give it up forever.

The post Spring time, pandemic recovery and soul nurture move slow appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Last Saturday, I pulled the card. It was -10 degrees fahrenheit and my husband wanted to go for our usual morning walk with the dog. We had eased into the morning on the weekend so I was snuggled up in my chair, reading a good book — and the LAST thing I wanted to do was bundle up and go out in the cold. So I (figuratively) laid that card right out on the table and sent him out on his own, because most days this guy just can’t be stopped. I enjoyed my relax time!

But this morning, at -15 degrees, while I wished I could pull that Lazy Elaine card again, the “We got this, Elaine” card came up instead. I like to think I have a choice each day, but the truth is I am not awake enough at 5:45 am to make a rational choice. Fortunately I am married to a guy that knows he does better if he and that yellow dog (and I) have a good two-mile walk each morning — and he’s got enough self-discipline for the three of us. So, after quietly mentioning, “you know it’s -15 degrees out there, right?” and adding a few layers, off we went.

And it got me to thinking about that Lazy Elaine card …

Sometimes I need a break, yes. But more often, the chore in front of me is not really that daunting. Like today, I had cold-weather gear to keep me warm and going for a walk really wasn’t that challenging despite the frigid temperature.

And if I pull that card too often, I miss out on pieces of life that are so good for me! Starting my day with a good walk gets me moving physically and mentally. The Labrador gets her exercise and she settles down for the rest of her day. My husband and I get to share highlights of our upcoming day and connect in very many important ways. And we all feel better!

Sometimes you just have to play the decision out …

When I am faced with that Lazy Elaine feeling, it helps me to look at the longer term consequences. It may feel good to procrastinate or avoid now, but what impact will this have later in the day? Will I still reach my goals?

One of my top goals right now is living healthy and that means being active. I can skip a day now and then, but I most certainly wouldn’t benefit from skipping my walk all week.

And going for a walk is just one example. That Lazy Elaine card steps into my life to cause trouble in all kinds of situations.

The Lazy Elaine (or insert your name here) card is a trick card

The Lazy Card can make us feel like we are taking care of ourselves. But it’s a trickster sometimes. If we’re not watching, our minutes of laziness can turn into hours or even days!

Sometimes we drift into laziness to avoid our big tasks. We allow urgent to override important. Or worse yet, we waste our time not even truly relaxing, but doing meaningless activities. If we’re not paying attention, we wake up and realize that our goals drift further in front of us, lost in the current.

Choose your hand wisely; play your Lazy Card(s) carefully

Sometimes it’s okay and we really do need a break. Save that Lazy Card for when you really need it! And put your energy into building yourself up physically, mentally and emotionally.

The post Some days I want to pull the Lazy Elaine card appeared first on Elaine Junge, Writer & Blogger.

Which means that have just three and a half weeks before Christmas — and a lot to cram into a few short weeks! Picture yourself relaxed and confident, grateful and unhurried, with space to breathe and be flexible for those around you. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?

Hold that beautiful thought … and acknowledge the hustle

The reality is the whirlwind of fall is barely past and most of us haven’t had time to catch our breath. Yet the retail world is in high gear for the holidays, reminding us of everything we need or might want to create a memorable experience for our loved ones.

On top of all this holiday hustle, let’s just acknowledge that you already have a lot on your plate. None of us escapes reality; multiple competing priorities plague all of us in midlife! Perhaps you struggle this year more than others. Maybe you’ve lost a loved one, you’re ill or helping someone you care for deeply who is ill, or you’re struggling with finances or relationships, or — life is just complicated.

You see why we must take care of ourselves? If we’re not paying attention to what’s going on within and around us, we ramp up without even realizing what we’ve done.

So breathe in deep and let it go

Isn’t the most important thing in the world to bring peace to ourselves and our family in this season? Wouldn’t you like to slow down and really listen to the words of the great Christmas tunes like “Silent Night, Holy Night” “Joy to the World” and “Hark the Herald Angels Sing”? Truthfully, we must allow ourselves space to appreciate the greatest gift and the reason for the season.

We need simple holiday self care

We need to slow down. We need to breathe. And more than anything, we need to notice what’s going on within and around us.

What if for the rest of this holiday season you dedicated just a few minutes a day to yourself?

So, let’s get started before it gets too crazy and we begin to lose control.

Take just five minutes to create a simple holiday self care plan

We’re going to make this super easy! So easy that you can come back to this plan at any moment — and recenter yourself and your day. Here is my simple three-step holiday self-care plan recommendation for you:

1. Pay attention to your mind and body. Ask yourself what you need so that you can approach the day or the moment with clarity, compassion and kindness. And give yourself good sleep, a gentle pace, healthy food. Make one good choice for yourself and then another.
2. Be present. Commit to a slower pace, to doing only one thing at a time, to paying attention to your people (more than your task, or your devices).
3. Be grateful — and shower gratefulness around you. My pastor said this week that gratefulness is like popcorn, let it explode around you! Little kernels become great big happy pieces that create more great big happy pieces.

Oh yes, and you have my permission to say no to anything that gets in the way of creating a calm and peaceful rhythm for your days! The world depends on happy, healthy humans — not stressed out, frazzled and overwhelmed humans. I’m speaking to you, and me, and those wonderful ladies beside us: remind them also!

May you experience peace and calm this holiday season. May you simplify and focus on essentials — and let the “small stuff” go. And may you find many reasons to be grateful!

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