Are you playing Superwoman?
Are you playing Superwoman? We all appreciate someone tackling the big issues, solving problems and making the the world a better place.
But the problem with superwoman is that the world begins to rely on her. And when you’re counting on superwoman, you really don’t have to solve your own problems, do you?
Wait, “I’m just being responsible“
Most of us were raised to be responsible for ourselves at the very least, and often for younger siblings. We were taught to do our chores first then play, clean up our messes, finish what we started, and to generally take responsibility for ourselves and the world around us.
And these are all practical and laudable pursuits! But, can responsibility be too much of a good thing? The answer is sometimes: yes.
Sometimes you can be too responsible
Now, before you begin to protest, I’m not saying you should embrace irresponsibility as a practice. Nor am I encouraging you to abandon genuine responsibilities.
What I am suggesting is that there are some of us that occasionally, periodically, or for a season — take on responsibilities that we shouldn’t be carrying. We assume burdens that aren’t ours and pick up loads that others should carry. And, we excuse someone else’s under-functioning tendencies and pick up the slack.
We become “helicopter pilots”
Helicopter pilots (aka helicopter moms) dash around frantically saving those around them from their own irresponsibility. The helicopter mom delivers forgotten lunches or assignments, picks up toys, soothes over arguments, volunteers to make cookies and hovers nearby in case she’s needed.
A helicopter mom is known for saving the day! She gets things done. She’s superwoman.
Everyone needs superwoman
And for those of us who tend to over-function, it can be a bit addicting to be recognized for our efforts. After all, we get more recognition for saving the day than we do for our ongoing day-in, day-out effort of holding down the fort.
And in the busiest seasons of life, as we’re raising kids, working and managing the challenges that come our way, we may easily fall into this over-functioning, overly responsible habit. In fact, it comes quite readily to us.
Have you been playing superwoman?
Perhaps you have fallen into this habit without realizing it. Our intentions are really, really good! We want to be there for our husbands, our children, our bosses. And serving others is part of our womanly DNA.
But there’s a downside to being superwoman.
We can forget our purpose …
Our purpose is more than just picking up all the balls others are dropping. Our purpose is to live genuinely, using our unique talents and skills to contribute to the world in meaningful ways.
The unspoken underbelly to over-functioning for others is that we can stop becoming ourselves. Hear me here. I’m not advocating that we STOP being responsible for those around us, but that we give them authority and license to carry their own burdens. And that we remember deep inside, the responsibility to our own hearts and souls.
Yes, we are nurturers
As wives and mothers, we play important roles in the family. And nurturing those we love is important.
But our goal is always to help the people around us learn and grow into the very best versions of themselves. Always, we are training our children to be smart, capable, and independent of us, relying instead on God and their own inner compass. They need to learn to “pick up their own balls.”
You don’t have to play superwoman
Maybe it’s time to lighten up on yourself! You simply don’t have to be superwoman in every area of your life. You deserve to have heroes helping YOU also.
If you’ve noticed you’re playing superwoman, it may be time to step back and re-evaluate your role(s). Are those around you stepping into responsibilities as part of their own development? Have you in inadvertently picked up tasks that rightfully belong to someone else?
Stepping back will be a process
Learning to let go and having others step up is a messy and imperfect process. Prepare to meet unexpected resistance. But, rest assured Becoming your essential self is worth retraining yourself and those around you!
