On living well and saying goodbye

I reflected on living well as I said goodbye to an incredible friend three years ago this month. And the experience challenged me like no other to think about our purpose here on earth.

She was full of life

My friend was young, not yet 50, yet the words that resonated most with me as we said goodbye were that hers was a life well lived. She had beautiful white hair, prematurely gray in her 20s — the kind of hair that caused strangers to stop her in the grocery store or on the street, not just occasionally but at least once a week. We would laugh about it, chuckling each time she came into work and said, “you’ll never guess what happened today,” with that beautiful, radiant smile, and a little giggle.

Debbie reminded many people of a Barbie doll, with her beautiful long hair, slender build and classic good looks. While her looks attracted comments and compliments, she refused the comparison, challenging others to get to know her more deeply. And she had so much depth. She was a designer, a creator, a gardener, a lover of life. She believed strongly — in God, people, and life in general. Her faith shone through in a caring and compassionate spirit that touched her family and friends through her craft, through kind notes and cards, through small acts of service in unexpected ways.

On living well

How did she live life so well? Hers is a shining example of living life simple and true:

Simplicity: a state or quality of being plain or not fancy or complicated; clear, straightforward, unpretentious.

True: being or reflecting the genuine character of something; correct, right, true to life, faithful, telling it like it is, fact-based, without deviation.

Saying goodbye

When we gathered to say our final goodbyes to our friend, it was in the most beautiful church I have ever seen. The church was so much like her, with strong foundations, simple lines and beautiful features. As friends and family shared stories of her life, this simple little church was bursting at the seams with all the love and sadness, joy and tears, strength and vulnerability.

We were not ready to say goodbye, yet we must. Life is, it just is and then it isn’t. Yet when you’re a Christian, steeped in faith, we believe there’s more to come. And we know that people matter, life matters, love matters.

God brings such comfort

God shines in all circumstances, but especially in helping us say Goodbye. Job well done, my friend. You are missed more than ever!