You don’t have to do it all
Many of us have come to believe we have to do it all, but you don’t. God didn’t create us to be productive 24/7. Even Jesus took breaks from what drained him, heading to the mountains or out in a boat when being around crowds drained him.
If you have a hard time accepting that it’s okay to say no sometimes, it’s possible you may have fallen into what Celeste Headlee, author of the book, Do Nothing, calls “the cult of efficiency.” We’re part of a group that believes in “the virtue of constant activity,” searching for greater and greater efficiency.
(Photo by Persnickety Prints on Unsplash)
We mistakenly assume busy = efficient
We live in a world where a work ethic is deeply engrained. We’ve bought into the concept that if we just work hard enough, we’ll eventually catch up. We’ve learned to push through rather than taking a break.
In her book, Do Nothing, Celeste says we’ve gotten it wrong and that this efficiency is an illusion. She says that we waste time in our search for efficiency. She compares it to approaching learning to swim by reading up on swimming, buying DVDs and tracking apps, or attending webinars. If we don’t ever get in the water, we’re approaching the problem in an inefficient way!
That’s pretty tough talk.
But, it’s also true that many of the strategies we default to when we’re trying to be efficient are counter-productive. We spend more time learning about efficiency than we do working efficiently. And, we slip into habits that actually are less efficient, such as multi-tasking (which increases our stress and is much more taxing on our brains).
And worse yet, we sometimes focus so hard on our “to-do” lists that we forget to actually question if we’re doing the right things. It’s no wonder we’re exhausted and overwhelmed.
So, I repeat: You don’t have to do it all
And, in fact, slowing down may be just what you need more than anything else. It turns out that “the extent to which you love yourself is the extent to which you can love others well,” (Geri Scazzero, in I Quit: Stop Pretending Everything is Fine and Change Your Life).
We’ve all heard the well-used and -loved analogy that as mothers, we have to put our oxygen masks on first, before even our children. I’ve heard this referred to as “guarding the asset.”
We’re not worth much to anyone, including ourselves, if we don’t take care of ourselves.
Who needs this reminder today?
I give you permission today, to stop working so hard. Trust me, the world won’t fall apart; it’ll keep right on spinning. Your family won’t spontaneously combust either (though they’ll probably complain a bit).
When we lower the expectations we place on ourselves, we have time to sit back and look at what’s really going on around us. And sometimes, we may notice that our taking on more than our share of responsibility in some areas — allows others to shirk their responsibilities. And in the long run, this isn’t doing them or us any favors.
Slow down a little
I’m not saying to slam on the brakes, but maybe just take your foot off the accelerator for a bit. Build more rest and downtime into your schedule and see what happens.
We’re here for long-term solutions, not short-term fixes. We all know life isn’t just about sitting on a couch, watching sitcoms and eating chocolates. Though if you haven’t done this recently, maybe you should!
Let go: You don’t have to do it all
Over the past few years, I come back to this practice of letting go more and more. Part of it is this midlife season. As our children gain independence, we naturally let go of responsibilities, or we should.
If you’re used to operating at a fast pace, searching out efficient and effective ways to live your life, this may not come easy at first.
But, letting go of some things means we can be more intentional with what’s really important to us! And when we do that, we feel more fulfilled and happier with our rhythm of life. We’re not busy just because it’s what everyone else is doing.
“What I learned is that if you don’t consciously choose a slower path, you will likely default to the pedal-to-the-metal speeds of modern life.”
CELESTE HEADLEE, DO NOTHING
Let’s choose to live differently!
More resources
If you’re a chronic or even occasional “over-worker,” here are a few additional resources for when you need a reminder that to let go, even a little:
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