Managing medical conditions as a long-distance caregiver during COVID-19

Helping your parents or other loved ones with managing medical conditions as a long-distance caregiver is especially challenging during COVID-19. I’ve been navigating these challenges since early March, when my 83-year-old father fell and broke his hip (among other injuries). Hip injuries are scary. Dad and I had both heard them described as a death sentence for the elderly. Neither of us were ready to accept this sentence. And so we didn’t.

Based on this experience and more than three years as a long-distance caregiver, I’ve put together 6 tips to help you stay on top of medical concerns for your loved ones. These will serve you well during COVID-19 and beyond.

1. Prepare for the unexpected

For me, this particular medical journey began prior to the COVID-19 restrictions. I flew down for Dad’s hip surgery and spent a few days visiting him in the hospital. Then, on a Thursday afternoon, nurses attended a meeting and came back to inform me that visitors were no longer allowed.

Hospitals and other medical providers have had to adjust quickly to COVID-19 requirements, so you may not have much notice on changing procedures. Because Dad’s condition was still quite tenuous, I stayed in the area for a week longer.

2. Keep a medical journal

Since all of my parents are in varying stages of dementia, they needed help managing their overall health and specific medical conditions. Keeping a medical journal is a practice I began early in my caregiving journey. Dad’s medical conditions are the most complex however, I also need to keep on top of medical appointments, prescriptions, treatments and procedures for my mom and step dad.

3. Ask to sit in on appointments

As our parents age, and particularly when they have dementia or complex medical needs, they benefit from having you “in the room.” While this can be challenging when you support them long-distance, I’ve found that most providers are very supportive. When arranging appointments (other than during COVID-19), schedule them to coincide with your visits. Or, speak to the administrative or care staff in advance of the appointment to arrange to sit in by phone.

With COVID-19 restrictions and distancing procedures, many providers are now conducting telehealth appointments. In my experience so far, this simplifies the process as they are using teleconference or videoconference technology. And this means you can also sit in on the appointment virtually.

4. Act as an advocate — and communicate closely with your loved one

From the beginning, set the stage by letting your loved one know that you are there to help them. You’re an advocate and you help them manage the details. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to reassure them that that they are still in charge of their health! If you get this right from the beginning, your loved one will appreciate your presence. And, they are much more likely to consent to having you involved.

5. Make sure you have the appropriate paperwork

Depending on the stage of your involvement, you may have a Power of Attorney agreement enabling (or directing) you to assist. In many cases, medical providers will also need a signed HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) agreement from your loved one.

I’ve had a POA in place for each of my parents for some time now but it’s been a gradual process. They are capable of making many decisions on their own and we are all happier if they retain as much control as possible. Check with your attorney regarding your specific needs.

6. Develop relationships with key medical providers

Medical providers are critically important to your caregiving strategy. Developing and maintaining good relationships with your loved ones’ doctors, nurses and office administrators will make your life so much easier. And, when you are organized and prepared, you also make their lives easier.

Since my parents are in an assisted living facility, I have personal phone numbers for key staff, including the onsite nurse. I communicate regularly with them and with my parents’ primary care providers (PCPs). And, another role I play is in making sure that when my parents see specialists, information is conveyed appropriately to the PCPs. This is particularly important if your loved ones have non-standard medical support, such as through the Veteran’s Administration.

Yes, you can manage medical conditions as a long-distance caregiver during COVID-19

Managing medical conditions virtually during COVID-19 requires you to be on your toes. But, you have more control than you think. And, when you prepare, advocate, communicate and carefully navigate — you will truly make a difference for your loved ones.

Dad has been working hard at physical and occupational therapy and is moving back to his assisted living home tomorrow. Life is not certain, but we continue to step forward in faith.

And remember, long distance social support for elderly parents is so important!

Additional resources:

If You Are at Higher Risk | CDC

AARP’s Practical Tips for Caregivers Concerned About Coronavirus

World Economic Forum | COVID-19: 4 tips to help the elderly stay connected

AARP: Families Concerned About Loved Ones in Nursing Homes, Assisted Living

May God bless you in your caregiving journey. May you find the deep unlimited resources you need. And may God keep you and your loved ones safe, healthy and happy during these unprecedented times.